The Japanese red string theory proposes that an invisible thread is tied around the little fingers of people whose paths are fated to cross in this life. When you read that, you probably thought of a ‘soulmate’. Not just some person you share a romantic connection with, but the kindred spirit, with whom you share a deep, indescribable,
and unshakeable bond. The idea of being destined to meet someone is an exciting feeling; to know that there is someone out there who is your person, and vice versa.
In a world where we are constantly taught to correct our vices and change ourselves in the hopes of finding the person who just gets it, who wouldn’t want to invest their hopes into this attractive prospect?
Not me, I guess. They say that you should never meet your type because you will inevitably have spent a good amount of time visualising their good traits: their humour, their smile, their spontaneity. But you will not have spent a fraction of that time visualising their negative traits: their inability to communicate, the light-hearted jokes that go too far, their lack of respect for others’ time. If your exact type happened to be your soulmate, you would begin to make excuses for them. “No, they’re just like that sometimes”, “You don’t know them like I do”. Because this person is your soulmate; and is confronting them about their mistakes worth the risk of losing the person that was meant for you?
But were they even meant for you if you were so scared to lose them that you don’t even bother trying to make it better? Love indeed makes us blind. When you have buried your hopes and dreams of a happy life into someone else, platonically or romantically, you pray away the bad days. Because you have invested so much into this person, you’re too far in and you must see it through. But that isn’t healthy. You should never lose yourself in your relationships with others. You are the people you surround yourself with and I hope you have enough sense to know that it is not worth hiding parts of yourself to be good enough for the person you think is your soulmate.
Now, that isn’t to say that we were lied to about the concept of soulmates. I don’t believe that there is a person out there who was destined for you, because it is an unnatural concept that leads to warped perceptions of what love should be. Love should never be a battle that your rationality loses. If the person you meet is willing to put in the effort to communicate and work through your problems with, then they could become your soulmate. If both of you are better people because of the positivity that your relationship creates, then you should hold onto that person with everything you have.
I leave you with this to think about. Instead of seeking to find your soulmate in the people you meet, focusing on the relationships you already have would be a great way to find the person who gets you, platonically or romantically.