Intimacy coordinators are not a new concept. But with the 2017 Weinstein scandal and late 2010s rise of the #MeToo movement, they became a valuable part of crew on film sets when film sex scenes. Their roles in films, have come into wider discussion in recent years, with Netflix’s steamy period drama show ‘Bridgerton’ praising their intimacy coordinators on set for creating safe working environments for actors. However, some films and shows take the creative decision to not have intimacy coordinators which I personally think is not appropriate. You wouldn’t perform film stunts without a stunt coordinator, so why should sex scenes not be performed without intimacy coordinators?
My thought process surrounding this issue was sparked after seeing the 2024 hit film Anora which explores a whirlwind romance between a rich Russian heir and a sex worker. This film features many sex scenes. Anora star Mikey Madison revealed recently that although she was offered an intimacy coordinator, she declined, in her claim to keep things ‘authentic’. Mikey praised director Sean Baker as one of the choices for rejecting an intimacy coordinator, believing ‘his dedication to authenticity’ [Variety, 2024] was part of this decision. Although, I understand wanting to make your work feel real and intimate, intimacy coordinators are there to help and elevate the process of create a sex scene, not hinder it. Other actors have held the same mindset that having an intimacy coordinator there to help create and work through a sex scene, ironically ruins the intimacy. However, I again don’t really grasp this logic.
Although she may have had a safe experience, the recent discourse surrounding the 2024 film It Ends With Us and the subsequent fallout with the Blakey Lively versus Justin Baldoni lawsuits. Lively has accused Baldoni of adding intimate sexual scenes without her consent, and alleged sexual harassment throughout the filming of the movie. A video released by Lively, shows a scene of them kissing, which she alleged was not rehearsed beforehand and Baldoni did not ask for consent. However, in court filings in Baldoni’s lawsuit, he claimed Lively refused to meet with an intimacy coordinator, as well as a text exchange between the two with him saying he hired a coordinator and asking her to them. The text exchange continues with Lively not wanting to meet the intimacy coordinator until the start of filming, which Baldoni claims it meant he met with the coordinator alone. Lively’s lawsuit paints a different picture, simply alleging Baldoni improvised physically intimate scenes and no coordinator was involved.
As both lawsuits are still ongoing at this time, it is difficult to comment on the entire issues and debates surrounding this case. However, this is a prime example of why intimacy coordinators should be a legal requirement for films with sex scenes, particularly with films like ‘It Ends With Us’ which deals with topics such as domestic abuse also. Although we do not know if there would have still been issues if an intimacy coordinator had been hired, it may have perhaps made both Lively and Baldoni feel safer. It would have meant that these extremely personal scenes could have been choreographed with a professional whose main priority is ensuring all actors comfortability and safety.