I am lucky enough to be in the privileged position to say that when I was eighteen, I took myself to Thailand for two weeks. I worked all through sixth form and eventually made enough to book a solo travel trip that I’m sure would have turned into much longer had the pandemic not happened. I was terrified.
I was introverted, particularly shy in school and all my friends had gone off to uni. But with heavy encouragement from my mother, I booked the flight.
I had an amazing experience, but most importantly I learnt so much about myself in such a short timeframe, and I still carry those life lessons with me now. Never before had I sat and ate dinner by myself, took myself to the beach, had to force myself to go speak to strangers. Of course, often on a solo trip those strangers become friends, but it didn’t mean I didn’t have my share of dinners where I was sat in a restaurant eating alone.
I was thinking about these experiences recently as I was debating going to a concert by myself, something I’ve never had the guts to do before. There are so many reservations I had, as many people initially would, about going to an event or doing an activity. Would people notice I was alone and judge me for it? Would I get bored? Would I be safe?
It’s important to recognise a piece of advice that seems prevalent online recently; everyone cares too much about themselves and how they are being perceived to care about you. But if they are judging you for being alone, why does it matter? You’ll never see them again.
I always wonder if I’ll get bored if I have no one there to talk to, to reflect on the experience with. Yet, sometimes there is more freedom in going somewhere alone. There’s no one there to argue with you if you want to go home, no one to make excuses to; you can simply leave if you’re not enjoying yourself. Plus, having no one there to distract you can make the experience more joyful, more present.
The issue of safety will always arise, especially for women and minority groups. This of course does need to be taken seriously and was obviously constantly on my mind as a young woman travelling alone. It shouldn’t stop you, however, just needs to be taken into consideration in terms of extra steps if you know you’ll be alone for a long period of time.
Psychologically, there are benefits to spending time alone as long as we balance it with social interaction. Paired with spending time in nature, for example, spending time alone can help us see things from new perspectives and focus on our priorities. For creatively inclined people, time alone can be crucial in recharging and gaining inspiration.
And so, this article has actually been a cathartic experience, the reminder I needed that I absolutely can and should go to that concert alone next week. If we are constantly waiting to find someone to do things with, we’ll miss out on so much in life.