Nearly two weeks ago, an article titled “Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” was
published by British Vogue, and the headline did exactly what the author intended for it to do. It
sparked plenty of online discourse, with many people coming out to say that having a boyfriend
is indeed embarrassing, and others denouncing the article, calling out Vogue and the author,
Chante Joseph, for their ‘misandry.’ I tried to avoid reading this article. I really did. Because for
me, relationship discourse has become tiring and unproductive. However, my algorithm and
curiosity drove me to finally look up and read the article. When I did, it became clear that many
of the online critics did not make it past the headline. It appeared as though many people read
the title, and made think pieces without engaging with the content of the article itself. This
served as a reminder to me that we live in an age where society prioritizes hot takes over
informed dialogue. Headlines turn into theses and quotes are taken out of context and
manufactured into evidence. Whoever can come out with the most controversial take or quickest
reaction is rewarded with exposure and engagement. What this Vogue article reveals is not just
how wildly a headline can be misinterpreted, but also how increasingly unwilling a lot of people
have become to read, reflect, and respond with care. Media literacy is more than just a skill. It is
a responsibility, and unfortunately, we are failing at it.
In order to understand how conversations pertaining to the Vogue article went off the rails, it is
important to understand the digital ecosystem in which we operate. Social media platforms are
not neutral spaces for connection. They are algorithm driven, to keep our attention captive for as
long as they can. In his Substack article titled ”Why Social Media Algorithms Feed the Frenzy,”
writer Cyberius Zeus goes into detail about negative bias, our predisposition to pay more
attention to the negative than the positive, and how social media algorithms take advantage of
this to push negative content on our feeds. The Vogue headline without any context was the
perfect engagement bait. It is controversial, slightly amusing, and up for misinterpretation in
multiple ways. It’s no wonder discourse happened as fast as it did. However, upon hearing this
headline, most people seemingly did not bother to find out what the author was trying to
communicate. They were quick to interpret it as Chante Joseph speaking down on women in
relationships, and undermining the role of boyfriends. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.
In her article, Joseph explored a growing sentiment found in young women in heterosexual
relationships, who want to reap the perceived benefits of being in a relationship, without coming
across as boyfriend-centred. She speaks about women soft-launching their boyfriends in
faceless social media posts, so that people can indeed see that they are in relationships, while
also simultaneously wanting to be low-key about it and not make being a girlfriend the centre of
their social media presence. Upon asking her Instagram followers why some women do this,
she was informed that for some, it is a fear of evil eye from jealous social media consumers, and
for others, it is a fear of having a permanent reminder of the relationship when it is not
guaranteed to work out. She does not talk down on boyfriends in her article, or allude to
anything misandrist. But unfortunately, people did not read enough to see that.
The discourse sparked by Chante Joseph’s article revealed the intellectual laziness that is
prevalent in social media spaces. Erosion of complexity has real life consequences. It makes it
difficult to have thoughtful conversations, and does not stimulate the desire to research more
into topics that we might not know about. If emotions instead of facts are driving our discourse,
under what circumstances do we expect people to read further into the topics being discussed?
It’s just not going to happen.
Unfortunately, the erosion of thoughtful engagement is not just happening in Tiktok comment
sections, but has crept its way into mainstream discourse, political debate, and academic
spaces. If we don’t actively cultivate media literacy, we risk becoming a society fluent in
headlines but lacking in substance. If we want better conversations, we have to become better
readers. We should aim to more than passively consume content. We need to become
interpreters, interrogators, and contextualizers. Practice curiosity before critique. Media literacy
is something that we owe to each other.