5 awful chat up lines
3 failed conversations
150 matches, 1 perfect guy (aww)
Tinder reminds me of a slot machine. You try and you try but you never win. Sometimes you win a bit and it satisfies you for the time being, and once in a while someone will hit the jackpot!
Meet our Tinderella: Jenny, 3rd year student at the Uni of Nottingham, just out of a four year relationship and ready to start dating again. This is her fairy tale:
“I had just gotten out of a four year relationship. I was feeling pretty low so some of my single friends encouraged me to go on Tinder saying getting matches would boost my confidence. They seemed to be having a lot of fun on it (as well as getting a good giggle) so I thought ‘why not?’ I had a browse, put up 3 or 4 photos and was pleasantly surprised to find I’d gotten quite a few matches right away!
But of course there were weirdoes. One guy flattered me with this gem: are your clothes on sale? Cos they’re 100% off in my eyes! Another asked me if I used to work for the Royal Mail, ‘cos you’re the whole package’! (That should actually be their recruitment tag line). Then there was the one who tried to charm my friend by asking ‘is your surname Jacobs?’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because you’re a real cracker’. Does it get worse than that!?
I went on two dates that were slightly, let’s say…disastrous. With the first one, I knew from the minute he turned up in obscenely skinny jeans and a tunnel earring that he probably wasn’t the right match for me! I also managed to find myself on a date with a 6ft5 bouncer which I was not expecting (this might be a good time to point out that I’m 5ft).
I was never afraid to put myself out there. Nothing too brave! I’d just ask – what are you up to this week? Or do you fancy meeting up? We’d text for a while first. It felt crazy to be in a relationship for so long and then to be texting 3 or 4 guys at once but it felt good too. It was a real confidence boost! I even gave the bouncer a second chance! That date turned out to be even worse. He seemed to think this second date was the equivalent to turning up at a traffic light party in green. I’d love to see the look on my protective male housemates’ faces if I strolled through the door with a man who made them look like ballerinas. Needless to say we didn’t meet again and I can’t imagine why we would unless one day he’s stamping my hand and asking for ID.
I kept moving on. I met up with another guy in the pub and we played pool – I won. I started to get quite interested until I ran into the roadblock many girls can relate to; he was only looking for a bit of fun. I knew what to expect and I had to keep my expectations real – it wasn’t going anywhere. That is the point of Tinder after all. It was hard to be honest but I told myself that I deserved someone who wanted to be with me as much I wanted to be with them.
My friends kept asking me who my favourite Tinder guy was at the moment. It was a clear choice. One of the guys, Johnny, was such a gentleman and really genuinely sweet. I noticed he was sending me much longer texts than anyone else, he replied really quickly and didn’t play games. We got on really well.
I started to think this could be something.
Johnny was the only one I wanted to talk to and I ended up disconnecting from Tinder in my head and just focussing on our texting. We texted constantly for two weeks and went on a date. He was everything I was hoping for and more! He looked exactly like his profile, he was lovely and he wouldn’t let me pay for anything. He went all out ordering expensive wine – I felt like a princess. I was smitten.
We went on more dates and he was always a gentleman – he never pushed me into anything, there were no dodgy lines and he was really interested in me. Now we’re going out properly and I’m so happy!
So I’ve deleted my Tinder account, as has he. He’s even met my family! I’m so happy because I never expected Tinder to deliver me something this great!”
Check out College Humour’s hilarious Tinderella video!
Has this happened to you or anyone you know? Or do you think Tinderella is as likely as riding off on a pumpkin? Comment below!
Edited by Sam Carey