When looking at a woman’s role in history it is without a doubt that the role of a wife has always
been closely tied to her identity. The value of a woman would be decided by whether she was
married or not. Women were not able to own anything, everything belonged to her husband, and by
this standard, an unmarried woman would struggle to function in a society that viewed women as no
more than an accessory on their husband’s arm. A woman’s home could never be hers; it was her
husbands. Her children, that she gave birth to, were her husbands. Even their bodies were not their
own. Marital rape was legal in the UK until 1992. In some cases, domestic abuse was even
considered to be a corrective measure for a submissive wife.
In recent years the traditional wife has been reborn. Through social media, an increasing number of
women are finding a platform in which they can share their lifestyle as ‘traditional’ wives, placing
emphasis on home steading, raising children and not working. Influencers such as Nara Smith and
Hannah Neeleman have found fame through extravagant home cooked meals and endlessly
providing for their husbands while simultaneously raising her family.
The modern day ‘trad wife’ that we can see being portrayed online has a certain look, often making
them hard to miss. Typically, she appears very feminine, in an immaculate outfit as she’s baking
homemade sourdough with her gaggle of children at her feet. She’s the one making homemade
butter instead of store bought- and in some extreme cases, even going as far to ask milk the cows
herself, with a baby on her hip, before making her morning coffee. The message to their viewers is
clear, whether spoken or unspoken- life is better if women adhere to traditional gender roles of
perfect domesticity and nurturing. The modern take on the ‘trad wife’ shows a curated look at
women embracing domesticity as the antithesis of what other young women are experiencing, who
are “working hard and barely scraping by” as said by social media trend forecaster Casey Lewis.
Although engaging with the ‘trad wife aesthetic’ through TikTok algorithms and Instagram accounts
is a relatively new phenomenon, the use of media as a means of reinforcing conservative social
norms on women is not. Women as far back at the 18 th century have been inundated by societal
pressures through writing in magazines, novels and newspapers that dictated how they needed to
behave, especially in their marriage.
Some could argue that as a society, we have come some far from the point of viewing women as
nothing more than their domestic duties, and what’s the harm in a few women choosing to present
themselves online this way? Unfortunately, we have not come as far as some like to think. Just last
year, NFL footballer Harrison Butker delivered a speech to the graduates of Benedictine College that
was packed full of conservative discourse, urging women to prioritise their husbands over their
careers. He went on to say “I can tell you that my beautiful wife, would be the first to say that her
life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and mother, I am able to be the man I
am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation”. In addition to Butker, Vice President of the
United States JD Vance stated, “you have women who think that truly the liberationist path is to
spend 90 hours a week working in a cubicle at McKinsey instead of starting a family and having
children”. The mere fact that these influential men felt fully comfortable expressing such
misogynistic views highlights how far we have to go, and perhaps we should view the ‘trad wife’
trend as more of a threat than a light-hearted phenomenon.
Through romanticising the era of the house wife, the many issues of that era are ignored. While
women in the 50s did spend their time ensuring the comfort of their husbands and tending to their
children (which the ‘trad wives’ of today suggest is the ultimate empowerment for a woman), they
also lived without the right to birth control, their own credit cards, bank accounts and abortion.
Domestic violence was not viewed as a serious issue and as mentioned previously, in the eyes of the
law a man could rape his wife. He had the ultimate control. As the ‘trad wives’ of today entice their
viewers in with their #OOTDs and their aesthetic sourdough tutorials, the consequences can be
dangerous. Their advocacy for the ideology and principles of so-called “traditional” gender roles
ultimately promotes a return to the days of oppression and erasure of the hard-fought gains in the
rights of women throughout history.
Historically, being a housewife is not empowering. Housewives were denied many of the rights of
women today. They were not empowered, they were powerless.