In the 1960s and 1970s, second wave feminism brought with it sexual liberation which challenged the idea that sex was exclusive to married couples, with the availability of contraception allowing people to partake in sexual activity before wanting children. Over the next few decades, regular sex before marriage became the norm with people encouraged to enjoy their youth and know themselves and their partner(s) before settling down. Since then, groundbreaking pieces of media such as the hit TV show, Sex and the City helped normalise positive sex attitudes. Of course, there have been hiccups along the way but undoubtedly, women have been given more freedom in the normalisation of sex positivity.
Despite this progress, there has been a rise in âpurity cultureâ among young people. Purity culture stems from the belief that young women should be âpureâ and avoid sex before marriage. The culture extends beyond than simply making a personal choice, going as far as to shame those who do not follow standards imposed by purity culture. On TikTok, there has been a sharp increase in young women boasting about saving themselves for their future husbands and shaming other women for having a âhigh body countâ. These users emphasise the importance of abstinence to preserve their âpurityâ, attaching their worth to their body. Social media has become a haven for these users to harass women who do not comply with the standards imposed by purity culture. They face misogynistic harassment from men and women alike who insist that women should cater themselves to men. One user commented on a TikTok video discussing purity culture, saying they think âitâs great weâre back to shaming women for being bopsâ. Instagram has seen a similar rise in purity culture content with the same harassment. These attitudes lead women to have a negative view on sex and relationships, which for some, have lasted their entire lives.
Ironically, purity culture centres around men and yet men are exempt from the impossible standards that are pushed on women. There is little discourse over how much clothing a man should wear or the prospect of a man saving himself for his future wife. The concern of purity and virginity must always lie with the woman.Â
Judging women with their sexual choices is not exclusively for those who seek relations before marriage but is also extended to those who choose not to pursue said relationships. Women have been labelled âprudesâ for not wanting those types of relationships. A woman is damned if she does and damned if she doesnât. Irrespective of her personal choices, she will be judged by a patriarchal society that seeks to control women. It is remarkable that despite progress in womenâs rights and the waves of feminism in the twentieth century, women are still encouraged to accommodate their lives around menâs desires as a result of them being constantly sexualised. The revival of purity culture on social media has aligned with an increase in âtrad wifeâ and âincelâ content, both of which criticise the latest developments in womenâs rights and insist on the return to traditional gender roles.
The problem with purity culture is not what choices a woman makes for herself. Rather, it is the cultureâs attempt to control women when they should be free to make personal decisions without judgement or harassment.Â