You might find yourself this time of year, thinking about your life, the past, the
choices that led you here, and the changes you want to make moving forward.
There’s something about winter that encourages that kind of self-reflection. This new
year, I’ve been focusing on making positive steps towards my health, building
routines and reflecting on how far I’ve come so far. Outgrowing your past self isn’t
always easy, there’s a certain kind of grief in it, in letting go of habits, friendships,
and mindsets that once felt familiar, even if they’re no longer good for you. Moving
on is how we grow, but it doesn’t mean we don’t miss who we used to be.
When it comes to friendships, it can be hard to accept that some of them just don’t fit
anymore. Sometimes the way you grow, and move closer to the life you want, is by
letting go of friendships that no longer support who you’re becoming and without
being constrained by the fear of change. The same thing goes for habits you’ve been
scared to stray away from, blocking you from forming new ones, or maybe an old
mindset you had which didn’t give you the same motivation you have now, these
things are important to alter as it’s how we grow, straying away from our comfort
zone is necessary for self-improvement. Mindset shifts and new routines come with
grief too. There’s comfort in our old routines and habits, even when they weren’t
good for us. Letting go of them means accepting that you can’t return to who you
were, and that kind of change can feel unsettling before it feels empowering. As
growing adults, we need to be able to recognise and correct the things that are
holding us back and be able to accept the fact that its normal to want to continue the
way things may have been in the past, however we shouldn’t let that be the reason
we don’t change it.
How many times do we say to ourselves, ‘this will change’ or ‘ill change that
tomorrow’, and nothing happens, this is because we are familiar with the routine we
have been maintaining, whether that be a productive routine or not, it’s the comfort,
even when that comfort doesn’t serve us, so try and build new habits and a good
routine, just for 1 month, see how it feels, not to become a new person overnight, but
to gently step away from the version of yourself you’ve been clinging to, and notice
what comes up when you do, because I can safely say, growth came with grief, not
for what I lost, but for how long I stayed somewhere I had already outgrown.