Take yourself on a date. Do it! I do and I love it.
When I was younger, I never would have even considered this concept.
Firstly, let’s define what a date actually is.
Oxford Dictionary defines the term as: (many things)
But for the sake of my point:
‘An arrangement to meet somebody at a particular time’
‘Next Friday? – It’s a date!’
I don’t see any reason why the same concept can’t be applied to ourselves. Allocating a specific time and day to hang out by myself, get dressed up, feel pretty, see pretty things and eat pretty foods! Sounds pretty great to me.
Looking back on my younger self, I definitely think I was co-dependent at times, particularly in my last relationship. He never really wanted to go anywhere or do anything, so I’d say ‘Ah I wish we went to that gig!’ or ‘I’d love to see that new Banksy in Jewellery Quarter’ (we never went).
Until I thought hang on – listen to yourself.
You don’t need people to see or do things – you can go on your own!
I wasted so much time waiting for people to want to do things with me or accompany me to do certain things because I felt a bit strange eg, going to a restaurant on my own. But it really isn’t bad – in fact I think I prefer it sometimes!
Being more extroverted means that I get my energy off of being with other people. Meeting and making new friends, networking and socialising – all things that are right up my street!
However, being alone and independent is a quality that is extremely important – regardless of whether you are introverted or extroverted.
When you go on a date with someone, it’s because you like them and want to be in their company and do something nice together. Now what is difficult – is having this same mentality when taking yourself on a date.
I had to learn to actually like myself and my own company. I never really understood why people liked spending time with me and I think that is because I didn’t appreciate my individual qualities and quirks – self love and all! Taking yourself on a date, spending time alone, ‘going-solo’ has been key to repairing my self esteem and perceptions of myself.
Taking yourself on a date does not have to be something so laboriously planned – spontaneous self dates are the best!
They also don’t have to be expensive.
One of the things I like to do is wear an outfit that I feel pretty in – this is usually some kind of dress and I put on quite a bit of blush haha. Then I will hop on the tram and go to Lace Market – one of my favourite places. Going to free art galleries and exhibitions feels very romantic and special to me! Nottingham Contemporary is a great choice and the Fletcher Gate Fine Art Gallery is cool too. Even going to Rough Trade to look at vinyls I won’t end up buying or going for a walk round Highfield Park’s lake, still feels like a date to me (and I don’t think should be any rules on that either!)
Being single and going out on your own isn’t a bad thing – it’s a wonderful thing! Even if you’re in a relationship, I still think going on self-dates are important, and character building for both your confidence and self-esteem.
So why not give it a go? and take yourself on a date x