Dear sisters – and brothers – of Nottingham Campus,
There is a problem infesting our university. It is a problem lurking in the spoken and unspoken tongues of the students; a problem spoiling our evolving minds, polluting our perceptions and undermining our voices. It is a problem of profound proportions, inherited from traditions of gender conditioning and compliance. It is a problem that needs to be unveiled, understood, and with the power of cross-campus consciousness, collectively remedied.
The problem in question: female lack of self-confidence.
Self-doubt is carried around and transferred between students like mouldy candy. Similar to a potent plague, it is invisible and contagious. It feasts on our worries and insecurities, dribbling over our desires and sucking away at any remaining spirit and spunk. Both females and males students are inflicted; yet, females appear to have a greater sensitivity to this particular, self-injected toxin.
Each and every day I hear Nottingham’s female students self-deprecating and undervaluing themselves. I hear intelligent, creative, kind, brave, adventurous, beautiful, witty women tell themselves that they are ugly and undesirable. Despite studying at one of the UK’s top universities, notions of not being worthy enough, good enough, pretty enough are reiterated ritually across campus.
Well, I for one am sick of it!
I am tired of barking at my friends to stop self-criticising and basking in a pool of self-doubt and self-assigned subordination. The number of times I say “you are clever/beautiful/capable” or “stop saying that about yourself” is mournful. The countless conservations I witness involving the typical “this will never happen, because I am too xxx” spiel is just infuriating.
Sometimes, I too participate in this narrative of anxiety and unworthiness. I need to listen to my own advice.
Why are we saying this? Why do we need to say this? What do we, does anyone, achieve from saying this sort of unproductive babble?
Is it a form of self-defence? By calling ourselves useless, we are staking a claim of invalidation before the world gets a chance. This is a sort of free pass against the possibilities of spinsterhood and insufficiency. It is an expression of fear, the fear over not being likeable if we are too reckless or boyish? Confidence, a trait traditionally assigned to men *screams internally*, makes us unfeminine and thus, unable to function as passive members of society. In order to be attractive, we have to be humble and, intermediately, condition ourselves of our own repulsiveness. Through undercutting our self-confidence, we embrace the performance of gender.
Hajar Woodland, a noted feminist writer, refers to this as ones inner misogynist. She calls this voice Bob. Her response; ‘Bob can go fuck herself.’ Indeed, Bob shouldn’t control what we do, achieve and perceive. Bob needs to be silenced. Bob needs to piss off.
We must recognize, as Mrs. Rodham Clinton has pointed out, our power and value as individuals. The broken-record of criticism and judgment has to be cut off. Students should feel free to complement and boost each other. Ladies should not be compelled towards automatic proclamations of their own inferiority. We can no longer be the narrators of our own mediocrity.
Today, I am calling for all students of Nottingham campus to unwrap this “problem” and tramp it out of existence, ladies and gentlemen together. Today, confidence can be regained and rejoiced.
Signed,
Anonymous, because “For most of history, anonymous was a women.”
Today, it is me. Tomorrow, it will be you.
Edited by Angelica Beier
Sources
Clinton, H. R., What Happened (London, 2017), p. 141
‘When is it my turn to be good enough?’
Woodland, H., ‘Good For A Girl Isn’t Good Enough’, I Call Myself A Feminist (eds.) V. Pepe, R. Holmes, A. Annette, M. Mosse and A. Stride (London, 2015), p. 3