With February 14th just around the corner it seems that everyone is currently on the hunt for the perfect date. From meals out to mini-golf, the options are endless, yet there is one old faithful that everyone eventually returns to: the movie date. This simple yet effective date formula has been used for decades and it seems that there is little that can go wrong. However, in recent years the cinema date, due to internet streaming, has evolved. Now the most economical and yet most optimistic of potential lovers out there don’t even have to leave the comfort of their own homes to get laid this Valentines Day. And this phenomenon has become known as Netflix and Chill.
While it is true, the Netflix part of the date is generally recognised as secondary to the Chill, it is still important to get it right when choosing an appropriate film to watch (the beginning of). The ultimate mood setter – the chosen film could determine whether your night ends in success or failure, so you will be wanting to get it right. However here are five choices that we would highly recommend against in your ‘romantic’ endeavours.
5. Gone Girl
While it is no doubt an excellent movie, this film is a sketchy choice for a date. After all who wants to be reminded that the person you are snuggled up to now could turn out to be a psychopathic maniac bent on framing you for his/her murder? Cue awkward suspicious glances and shuffling to opposite ends of the sofa. Date over.
4. Misery
A film that is inappropriate much in the same way as Gone Girl. A psychological thriller by Stephen King this is another critically acclaimed film that can put your date in danger of heading up chill-less creek without a paddle. The plot in summary follows a famous author of a popular romantic series of books, who on running his car off the road is rescued and nursed by a woman who is his ‘number one fan’. Violence, intense obsession and a casual hobbling occur (spoiler alert), again leaving you feeling slightly uncomfortable sitting so close to a near stranger that may have claimed to have been a ‘fan’ of yours….
3. Schindler’s List
This film, or anything with similarly serious tragic themes, is an obvious no go for a date. Such topics call for serious undivided attention and probably require a period of quiet reflection afterwards – not romance. When you want a film that you really only want to pay half attention to at best – this is not the one for you. Best to be saved for an evening of maudlin wallowing with your cat or another significant other that won’t judge you crying into your mug of tea.
2. A Clockwork Orange
While you may think that the choice of a Kubrick film will show off exactly how edgy, cool and educated you are – I would recommend thinking twice before settling on A Clockwork Orange. A bizarre piece of cinema at best and disturbing at worst, the overriding themes of gang violence and rape, as artistically as it is presented, won’t exactly create the romantic mood that you are probably hoping for. The heavy symbolism of the climactic scene where a woman is beaten to death by a large model penis (again spoiler alert) also may not help in your endeavours.
1. Teeth
When the main plot point to a film is that the main character has a vagina with teeth, this shouldn’t be a film you should watch EVER – let alone on a date. However if for some bizarre reason you do choose this film prepare to kiss your chances of getting lucky goodbye as the pile of bloody maimed penises mounts up throughout the film’s run time. Throw in repeated sexual assault and some incest for good measure and your snuggle buddy, male or female, will probably be put off not just your date, but all dates. Forever. And if it doesn’t –and by some chance the evening goes off without a hitch – what does that say about them? Run while you still can.
Edited by Katie Randall
Sources:
http://cassiefairy.com/2015/02/10/diy-date-night-for-valentines-day/