So, I moved to Spain…. And if I am quite honest, I still do not think that has settled in, despite the fact that “tinto de verano” (the nicest drink you simply must try) and “tortilla de patatas” have become, to put it simply, a staple in my life.
Now I will not lie to you, if it wasn’t for the wonderful lady that I met at Malaga Airport whilst I was trying to locate the bus to Granada (where I am studying), I believe I would still be sat on the side of the road, pondering if I could really do this and would have already jumped back on the next returning flight to England. But I am here… I made it.
So, what’s next, I make it to Spain, and I am going to immediately settle in, find my way around the city, make friends, and decide I am never moving home again (sorry England) … right……???
Yeh, you guessed it unfortunately this was not the case, I quite literally felt as though the whole foundations of my being had been wiped from underneath me, and not only did I need to grow new leaves I needed to plant a whole new tree, in a world only filled with concrete, aka near impossible.
In those first couple of weeks, every day and I mean every single day I cried, cried because I had never felt emotions like this before, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I am in Spain, it’s hot, there’s tapas on every corner and the city I live in is beautiful- I mean sorry Nottingham but Granada really has nothing on Lenton (not that that’s hard). So, why, why wasn’t I happy…? In hindsight, I now realise it’s not that simple, my expectations to simply be okay and not miss home, well I should have realised that for a gal like me who loves her home comforts this was never going to be easy.
Before I had even had the opportunity to move to Spain, I went through the extremely painful and stressful experience of trying to get a visa for Spain (so painful- but that’s a story for another time), and the fact I booked my flight here 3 days after having received my visa, I don’t think I had even processed this huge impending move. Until the next thing I know I am saying “Hola” instead of “Hello”.
It’s (naturally – might I add) overwhelming, moving to another country where one, the language doesn’t come naturally to you and you don’t understand everything that is happening, two the culture is so different (going to a club at 2am no thank you I would like to be in bed please, and learning that an afternoon siesta in most cases is a necessity), and three that you don’t have your usual support network that you would usually turn to when you feel this way.
Another random culture shock here that I am still trying to get used to, is that the Spanish do not seem to understand the concept of personal space when walking in the streets. On the topic of walking in the streets…. Europeans walk on the other side of the street because more likely than not the Brit in me will forget and stick to the left-hand side and that’s when collisions happen on a daily basis– just as a public service announcement for those of you planning on moving or travelling to Europe :)
If I am being honest, I really thought that I was going to drop out of Uni altogether, I really didn’t think I would be able to do this. My mind was so clouded by the desire to go back home, in the hope I wouldn’t have to put up with this sense of dread and overwhelm at the start of every day. Because for me and upon talking to many of my friends who are also on their year abroad, the mornings I have come to realise are the hardest, for the majority. You realise you are alone, and not in the comfort of your own home, and it’s a strange feeling that I am unable to explain…. But these mornings do get easier as time passes, and you realise you are beginning to settle in a lot more.
Sometimes your mind falters your heart and the two take a while to come to an agreement. And one day you wake up and you are walking around the beautiful city, or are on an Erasmus trip, or watching the sunset, and you realise these are the moments you live for. This is why you wanted to come to Spain, you have this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet people from across the globe, learn a whole new language and grow so much as a person. I could go on….
Despite having these epiphanies, I will not say that ever since being here it has been a walk in the park, it has been and will still be challenging…. but these challenges are what make being here worth it, and I wish I could give the Amy that was crying every night a hug and tell her that everything will be okay. And there is no harm in not being okay, use your usual support network just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t here for you…. You’re not in some kind of alien world.
Ask for help and support and a reminder that I will give to myself, and others is that every year abroad experience is different for every person, no two people will have the same experience. So, stop comparing your experiences to others- it’s like comparing a skiing holiday and a beach holiday, both so different but beautifully unique in every way. A year abroad truly is one of the hardest but most eye-opening incredible experiences you will ever have.