We all know the *unprecedented* state that the world currently finds itself in has certainly put us through it a lot recently. Fortunately, most people are great at adapting to new situations and I’m sure we’re all finding our own new and unfamiliar ways to cope with everything this pandemic has to offer. I’d say we’re doing really well considering, I mean who’d have thought we’d actually have to live through the apocalypse?!
As popular as speculating about the end of the world is, however, one thing apocalypse movies never talk about, other than loo roll and dentistry (think about it—how would you clean your teeth?!), is weddings. Did anyone stop to consider how society would move on to accommodate marriage in this new normal we live in? As much as lockdown makes it feel that way, life doesn’t stop because of a pandemic. And love doesn’t either.
And I’m not entirely sure why (perhaps my apparent great popularity?) but I go to an unusual number of weddings at the best of times and with the advent of the ‘Zoom wedding’, this number has just increased. This year alone I’ve been to weddings via Zoom, live-streams, I’ve been to a socially-distanced reception on the beach and even went to a whole wedding in person! You name it, this year I’ve probably done it.
Now even though the sight of merely fifteen people sat in a church may make me sad at times, there are some pros to these new kinds of weddings. Less planning, less expensive, more guests can come (it doesn’t take a train to get to your laptop) and ultimately, you only have to have people you really love (no one gets offended that you didn’t invite them—you can’t come Racist-Aunty-So-and-So, it’s illegal!)
But that’s looking on the bright side and, to be honest, sometimes it was hard. This year I didn’t get to attend my cousin’s wedding because of the guest limit, and that definitely sucked a bit. Although you can have the people you love the most in the world with you on your day, often we love more than just 15-30 people! Another thing I didn’t think of was getting ready for a wedding—I missed dressing up fancy, it just adds to the whole occasion and, unless you want to get decked out simply to sit on the sofa eating chicken nuggets (which I did) there’s not much point in making the effort.
There are so many things that we just take for granted when it comes to other peoples’ weddings! But one of the things I truly missed as I attended live-stream after live-stream was the community aspect. Weddings aren’t just a legal or religious thing, they’re a celebration of love! Yes that often includes throwing bouquets, first dances, speeches, ‘first looks’, coordinating bridesmaids etc etc, but what I wanted the most as I sat there posting a boomerang of the various ceremonies on my Instagram story was to be there with them, celebrating them and their love. With all these technological advancements we’re experiencing, Zoom just doesn’t hit the mark.
And yet, through these ups and downs my friends have found fun and intuitive ways to keep up semblances of the traditions we all love. I’ve made two wedding cakes over the past couple of months for my friend and my brother to cut during their respective services, (which I personally think is an excellent addition to the church proceedings—Holy Cake is my kind of cake!) so even without the traditional reception, there were elements of normality. For my cousin’s wedding, all my siblings and in-laws came back home so we could, as a family, have our own little party and celebrate our cousin together as we dressed up, drank champagne and watched the live-stream. As I said, we are adapting.
But of course, the most personal wedding I went to was my own brother’s, and that’s one I got to go to in-person. In many ways it was a typical wedding: the bride was stunning like normal, the groom wept as normal, I wept like normal, and the service was just as moving as any other I’d been to— now all with the added feature of coordinating facemasks. Probably my favourite day of the year so far!
So, no matter what the year continues to throw at us, life and love goes on. In spite of the many ways couples are forced to change their plans, find new ways to do things and make complicated last-minute changes, weddings do happen and they’re just as beautiful.
They’ll always be beautiful, and I’ll always cry. 2020 can’t stop everything.