I have never had astounding luck with boys, so when my ex-boyfriend resurfaced, I was eager to jump back in. But instead, I have tried to reflect on the whole experience, hoping to grow as a person.
From this, I have gained a lot of perspective. I would say being too trusting of others is an easy mistake to make. Yet, to form a successful relationship, you must have clear boundaries with yourself. I realised that I do not respect myself enough, and this is evident to others. Therefore, I should carry myself differently. People often let things slide out of fear of overreacting, but you must follow it if there is an evident red flag or gut feeling. I am now trying hard to stand up for myself and know my worth.
Next, I believe you should delete or unfriend the person who has hurt you for a while. There will always be that ‘what if’ question. You have to remember you broke up for a reason. Looking at things in a solely positive way can only hurt you more.
I am focusing on myself instead, making plans with my friends who always have my back. Boyfriends come and go, but your friends are forever. They are the ones who pick you up when you don’t even think you can be. It is so important to thank your friends for this and surround yourself with positive influences. Trying to move on and not dwell is ultimately the best thing.
Remember too that you are an amazing person, one of a kind. People who mistreat you are not a reflection of you. Initially, I was frustrated, thinking about how dumb I must have appeared to my ex’s friends. They say this isn’t the case, and they feel sorry for me, which is not what I want. I instead just want to move on and be a better person for myself.
These are some of my thoughts surrounding breakups. It is so easy to say that you should go get your hair done or paint your nails. However, I believe you really are hurting during a breakup. These superficial fixes simply do not work. You have to have time to recover and think. That’s when you truly grow and glow.