This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Nottingham chapter.

We’ve all been there. You’re out with the fam for a lovely meal in a quaint pub in the countryside. You’re all chatting and laughing and enjoying your meals. Then Nan mentions her views on the refugee crisis or UKIP’s immigration policies. The entire room stops talking and turns to stare at your table. Nan doesn’t notice. She continues to talk. Grandad joins in…

This is a situation many of us may find ourselves in this Christmas and there’s no denying the incredible awkwardness of it. Whether it’s racism, homophobia, transphobia or sexism, unfortunately the likelihood that you have someone sitting around the dinner table who is ready to voice their offensive opinions is high.

Although this makes the atmosphere at the table uncomfortable for all and dealing with these comments can be very tricky, it’s important to remember that you feeling uncomfortable isn’t nearly as bad as the effect Uncle Tony’s ignorance will have on the group of marginalized people his comments are aimed at.

We offer some practical solutions to dealing with these awkward encounters, and some fool proof solutions to shut the person up, if trying to rationally explain to them what they’ve just said is unacceptable hasn’t worked.

1. Have a plan ready.

If you already know that the aforementioned Uncle Tony is likely to start spewing nonsense after he’s consumed half a bottle of brandy, then avoiding any conversation that is likely to provoke a debate is advisable. If you can see where the conversation might be heading, change the subject and address the issue at another time, i.e. when your 6 year-old cousin isn’t staring wide eyed at you brandishing the carving knife across the table.

2. Know your allies.

If step one hasn’t worked and the inflammatory conversation has already begun, it is important to know your allies. Whether this be your brother or sister, your parents or your cousin, having a group of people ready to call the person out on their comments will be so much easier than having to shout them down on your own.

3. Leave it/ Don’t rise to the bait.

This is option is problematic, as not calling out racism or homophobia or any other type of discrimination, especially when you wouldn’t tolerate it coming from your peers, goes against your first instinct- that is to call the person out. If your senile Grandma uses a very outdated term for a person of colour, it might be easier to let it slide or gently nudge her and remind her that she can’t say that anymore. It doesn’t make it right (or mean that it was ever right!) but it is slightly different from the blatant and deliberate views that Uncle Tony comes out with.

If someone (Uncle Tony) makes an inappropriate joke for what they think is the benefit of the whole table, one of the best solutions is to ignore them- don’t laugh, or alternatively just let them know that what they said wasn’t funny. If they keep making offensive jokes but nobody is responding to them, they’ll soon get the message that their jokes, and thus opinions aren’t welcome, and it’ll hopefully make them think twice before voicing them again.

If none of these options work for you, here some options that will quite literally stop the racist and their views in their tracks.

1. Spill your drink all over your Nan/ Grandad.

This is guaranteed to at least give you an extra minute to think of a new conversation topic before it all kicks off.

2. Start a food fight.

It might make you look bad, but at least this Christmas will be remembered as the ‘slightly mad but harmless’ year, as opposed to the ‘everyone is racists idiots’ year.

3. Fake a heart attack.

You may think this drastic, but as soon as someone starts to call 999 you can ‘suddenly feel better’. Pass it off as indigestion! No one ever needs to know.

4. Break out into song and dance.

Maybe even have a flash mob hiding in the room just in case. No measure is too far. Everyone’s attention will be diverted and you can change the subject afterwards.

5. Jump over the table and tackle them to the ground.

You never know, this could change their perspective of race forever, and quite literally knock some sense into them.

6. Play Adele

No explanation needed.

There you go! Even though it can be tempting to skim over the awkwardness by ignoring it, doing the right and challenging the discriminatory behaviour is the best thing to do.

Image sources:

How to Deal with Racist Grandparents this Christmas

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