Has The Death of the Rom-Com Killed Modern Romance?

In a recent interview on the Armchair Expert podcast, interviewee Reece Witherspoon
commented that modern romance may have died with the romantic comedy genre. What was
considered the bread and butter of the film industry seems to have fizzled out. The late
twentieth century overflowed with our all time favourite romances, very much so the early 2000s
was still seeing this through. But what has happened since then?

Many believe all the romance scripts have already been written, and that action genre and
blockbuster series has taken over the writers room. But has real life romance declined too since
rom-com’s got the boot?

‘We started going “rom-com’s are cringy” but it was actually where we learnt social dynamics.’
Witherspoon mentioned, ‘From Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.’

And in many ways, she’s right. The first encounters we ever have with romance or how to
navigate relationships may just come from what we watch and seeing those relationships form
on a screen from a script. The shows we grow up with can very much cement how we visualise
romance, dating and how to conduct ourselves in dating behaviour. Showing us that ‘witty
banter… [how to] make the first move.’

The most recent romantic comedies have brought forward relatable lifestyles and choices,
addressed delicate themes and created new worlds whilst appreciating the foundation of the
genre, but somehow they never seem to receive the same love as a woman running down the
street in her leopard print knickers.

An integral part to romantic comedies is that they must reflect our world, navigate our own
romances outside of scripted speech, whilst still maintaining the high standards we should look
for. But with the decline of romcom’s in replacement for the splurge of other genres, and those
out there being produced not hitting the 5 star ratings like their predecessors used to, and still
do; what does that do to how we now see romance?

Romantic comedies live and breathe for their dramatic speeches, confessions of adoration and
yearning; but if we are exposed to an on-screen culture where we can just send a text, where’s
the romantic ammunition or potential for sparks to fly.

The idea of having a secret romance email chain with a stranger who just happens to be your
corporate business enemy would not be feasible in a modern romance, where we live by the
screen. Maybe something more on the lines of ‘All your unopened messages may be someone
you could potentially maybe even possibly like if you got to know them’.

What Witherspoon is getting at, however, might not be a problem in entertainment, but a
relationship crisis. Instead of enjoying a wholesome meet-cute, social media can either glorify it
or make us think it’s ‘too cringe’. And we aren’t enforcing our own meet-cutes when dating apps
match us together. The witty banter and guidelines to flirting that Hanks and Ryan taught us, like
Reece says, rehearsed within us vulnerability, charm, confidence and conversation. Without
this, why would we expect to put ourselves out there when we could hide behind a screen?
But maybe it isn’t just the decline of romcoms, maybe it is the increase of online dating too? The
best romantic comedies of all time (in my biased opinion: When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill,
and Bridget Jones) would not have the same charm and charisma if Harry met Sally on Hinge,
or Bridget saw Mark Darcy’s Christmas jumper and had the option to swipe left instead of
having that first conversation with him at her mother’s New Year’s party.
A study found that out of 6,000 individuals, those who met their partners on dating forums
reported lower levels of relationship satisfaction and intensely shared love in comparison to
those who met in person. This is by no means implying the love formed in a digital space is ill-
fated from the start, but that those who met in person (like in the movies) reported higher
relationship satisfaction. And perhaps that ingredient is a meet-cute, the waiting and anticipation
over an always-active immediate digital world.

And the modern romances that adhere to the reflectability of real life modern dating, maybe just
aren’t as romantic as the traditional art of falling in love, meaning we watch modern depictions
of romance less and, in consequence, are not as trained in dating social dynamics and
relationship tricks like we could be.

Perhaps the romance on our screens has been rerouted by incorporating screens, messaging,
media and in doing so, stripping it of the serendipity that once made romcom’s electric. For all
their exaggerations, romantic comedies do encourage us to approach someone, letting the
charm of stumbling into love take its course rather than algorithmically matching with it.
As the genre fades from spotlight, we may be losing more of the cinematic traditions – despite
always having access to the originals that cannot be replicated. If modern dating feels flat, it
may be because our love lives are mirroring that entertainment of trying too hard and being
online-orientated. Maybe the trick is to exercise that old romantic trope, and maybe romance will
revive alongside it.

• entertainment
• movies
• romcoms