Where to begin? Possibly apologizing to the people this topic matter may offend? Or better yet: these are completely my own views and opinions (unless otherwise stated) and by no means do I claim them to be correct or gospel. Something I will emphasize right from the offset is the saying ‘each to their own’.
For those that haven’t already realized that ‘number’ doesn’t mean contact details, I am referring to sexual partners. It’s a matter people like to steer clear of and one many lies are told over, but the question still remains: is there such thing as an ideal number?
First let’s address the elephant in the room – is there one rule for guys and another for girls? I don’t think there should be. Popular opinion assumes that society rules women should have a far lower number than men, who may feel pressured into racking up figures.
How you view your number is entirely up to you. There are big differences amongst girl’s views on the topic. Some girls I know do anything to keep their number as low as possible, even if that means continuing to sleep with the same boy that they don’t particular like. Others say they don’t care about their number, if they meet a guy they like, they’ll sleep with him. Some try to keep their number down but struggle; understandably it is much harder at uni. The main thing to realize here is that you should never lie about your number, nor should you sleep with boys to prove anything to yourself or others. If you’re not comfortable with your sexual behavior, why should anyone else be? If you feel you have to lie about something as trivial as a number, maybe it’s time to rethink your behaviour.
How males view the number of sexual partners a female has had also differs.
A true male friend won’t care about your numbers. It was shocking to hear some girls say that they didn’t want their guy mates to know their numbers for fear of judgment.
Rest assured, we really aren’t bothered. I don’t think I’ve met a single guy who’d base any type of friendship on a girl’s number. It’s your body, it’s your business.
Relationships are where things become tricky. It’s your body, it’s your business, can soon become both of your businesses (if you both choose to divulge). It really depends on the boy. Some boys are unfair. Having slept with 50+ girls, they still have the audacity to say they’d never date a girl with over 5 notches on her bedpost. I must say that’s on the very extreme side and most guys are far more accommodating. One of my friends said it’d depend on the type of girl. If she hadn’t been in many relationships or any at all, he’d be much more accepting of a higher number. Another with a similar opinion selected 8 as his acceptable number, his reasoning allowed for 2 or 3 relationships, 2 or 3 ‘seeing someone’s’ and 2 or 3 one night stands. A few more of my mates took a similar stance. Many, however, said they had no care and that a girls body belongs to her, therefore she could do as she pleases with it.
When girls have asked me my opinion on numbers in the past and I’ve told them my views the next question is always ‘would you not date a girl if she had a number higher than you thought to be acceptable then?’ My reply is always very simple: When you are attracted to someone you ignore anything you think to be a flaw.
At the end of the day, it is your life, a life that should be filled with experiences. Whether that be experiences of a sexual nature or not is for nobody to decide but yourself. Without trying to sound like a self-help book, what I am trying to say is: be whoever pleases you, not anyone else.
After all, isn’t it just a number?
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Images
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Edited by Sam Carey