In The One with the Prom Video, Phoebe, being the beacon of wisdom that she is, brought into our life the term ‘lobster’. Phoebe’s theory of love is simple: just like lobsters fall in love and mate for life, everyone has their own lobster. Personally, I think the idea of having just one person who is ‘perfect’ for you and that you’re supposed to be with forever is quite weak anyway (no one’s actually perfect after all). But, even if we roll with the idea of soul mates, one thing is for sure and that is that ROSS IS NOT RACHEL’S (and he doesn’t deserve to be) for these reasons.
- He doesn’t respect Rachel’s career or support her
Although everyone is hella mean to Ross about his own career, it does not justify the fact he often belittles Rachel’s career – for example, after twisting her arm to not attend her fashion seminar with Mark, he proceeded to embarrass her completely by falling asleep and talking through the seminar. Also, in Season 2 he literally whines every 5 minutes about Rachel putting her CAREER – one she worked so hard to attain – above him. Your ‘lobster’ should encourage you to reach your full potential career-wise and general life-wise, not cry because he got your answering machine a couple times.
- He immediately goes to sleep with copy-shop girl
Although when it comes to ‘we were on a break’, I’ve got to agree with Ross and stress that THEY WERE ON A BREAK, the fact he essentially sleeps with copy-shop girl immediately mostly to spite Rachel is still pretty peak. Plus, he doesn’t even have the guts to be honest with her about it. I don’t think that screams soul mates.
- He has a jealous, possessive streak which is super unhealthy for both of them
The majority of Ross’s time in Season 2 is spent talking, thinking and starting fights over Mark. The fact Ross can’t even fathom the idea that Rachel has a life outside of him might sound problematic, because it totally is!He would also happily potentially jeopardise her career just to figuratively piss on his territory (think back to The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break). None of this is a particularly good basis for a relationship, let alone for a ‘lobster’ together-forever one.
- The ‘I Hate Rachel Green Club’ and that rumour
This might be just about the best example of how lame Ross is/was, and how there is no way in hell he is Rachel’s lobster. Ross’s unhealthy obsession with Rachel clearly led to his desire of an ideal of Rachel he formed back in high school being greater than his actual love for her. And it’s this unhealthy obsession which makes Ross form an ‘I Hate Rachel Green Club’ and spread vicious rumours, literally just because Rachel didn’t want to date him… A classic case of nerd entitlement to be honest. It’s also another example of why he ain’t her lobster.
- HE LIES ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE
Perhaps Ross’ most selfish and least lobstery move is how he lies about getting a divorce just because he’s already racked up 2 divorces. Not only is it incredibly snakey, it is also totally putting his selfish desires above the very reasonable request of someone he supposedly cares about deeply.