As we begin 2015, our newsfeeds are filled to the brim with weight loss classes, how to stick to your diet and eat right, and even the occasional ‘become a better person this January’. Whilst we agree that the New Year is the perfect time to work on yourself as an individual, we can’t help but notice that one crucial lifestyle aspect is almost totally ignored. We find ourselves asking: what happened to relationships?
Christmas is often described as the time for couples, with the snuggling together by a log fire, the mistletoe, the sexy Mrs Claus outfits filling shopfronts and the romantic movies streaming endlessly on television. New Year is no different; the tradition of kissing your partner at midnight still stands, and there’s nothing better than a bit of PDA under the fireworks. In spite of all this, a recent study by David McCandless, which collated 10,000 status updates across Facebook, revealed that two weeks before Christmas is the most likely time for couples to break-up. And January claims the Most Depressing Day of the Year. In a time which should be so lovey-dovey, what’s with all the dumping?
The Graph released by David McCandless revealing the days containing the most dumpings on Facebook
If you’ve seen films like How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days, then you’ll know that there are some pretty common mistakes that both guys and girls make in relationships, whether they’ve been with their partner for 3 years or 3 weeks. A lot of these easily-avoided errors could make the difference between losing a partner and keeping them. So we thought that, if you’ve experienced the pre-christmas dumping, or you’re tired of being single, or maybe if you’re just sick of the latest miracle weight loss cure, we’d help you find some new relationship resolutions that are easy to stick to.
1) Accept that ‘no’ means ‘no’
You may really like that person and inwardly know that you’re destined to be together, but if you’ve asked them out and they’ve said no, then there’s really nothing else you can do. You should be congratulated for being ballsy enough to make the first move, but it’s their loss if they’ve turned you down. The more you beg, or continue to harass them about going out with you, the more desperate you’ll look and the more likely it will be that they will continue to turn you down. The best thing you can do in these situations is look to that gorgeous looking thing next to him and move on. If you really are right for each other, then they’ll realise their mistake and come crawling back pretty quickly.
2) A double-text is the limit
If you’ve sent them a text and they’ve not replied, then it might just be that they’re busy. Or they’ve looked at their phone, got distracted by something else and completely forgotten that you’ve texted them (let’s be honest, we’ve all been there). It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you. You don’t need to text them 58 times and then start ringing them just because they haven’t had a chance to get back to you yet; it makes you look as if you haven’t got anything better to be doing. Just put the phone down, relax and spend some time with your friends. We can guarantee that they will most likely have texted you by the time you return to your phone.
3) Don’t grow complacent
So this one is mainly for couples who are in long-term relationships. When you’ve been with the same person for a long time, it is easy to slip into a routine. We get it – you’re comfortable around them, you know them and you can be yourself completely around them, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to try anymore. This can easily be avoided by making some time for one another, and doing new things. Whether that’s eating out at some weird and wonderful places, having day trips to places you’ve never been before, or even spicing things up in the bedroom, there are plenty of things you can do to reconnect and ensure that neither one of you gets ‘too comfortable’.
4) Make time for your friends
‘Bros before hoes’ and ‘sisters before misters’: two popular colloquialisms you’ll hear chucked around by guys and gals at friends who have embarked on new relationships. In new relationships it’s really common for you to want to spend all your time with that person; it’s new and exciting, you can’t get enough of them. But, there is a big risk that spending too much time with them will not only affect the relationships you have with your friends, but also the relationship itself. At the end of the day, you want your mates to like the new fella or bird you’re bringing into the group, and they’re just not going to do that if they’re monopolising all of your time. Not only this, but living in each others’ pockets can be really unhealthy for the relationship, creating a state of dependancy on the other person, which can easily worry them, or causing premature boredom spending all your time with one individual. This is so easily avoided just by ensuring that you’re setting aside enough time to chill with friends, and you’ll probably be happier for it.
5) Love and trust goes hand in hand
Trust is one of the most important things in any relationship, whether it’s new or old, and it can cause deep-rooted problems if not addressed. A relationship is a mutual choice; you have to remember that not only have you chosen that person for a damn good reason, but you also don’t have to continue seeing them if you don’t want to. Not placing your trust in a partner is something that can cause huge unrest, and you have to believe in your sense of judgement. At the end of the day, if you can’t trust the person you’re with, then you shouldn’t be with them, as difficult as that decision might be to make. BUT before you rush to any conclusions, make sure that the decision you’re making is founded on real, legitimate reasons; no one knows the person you’re with better than you, so look to what you know and believe about them before choosing to trust them or not, because there is no in-between.
These resolutions are easy to put into practice and, from personal experience, we know that they are effective. We hope that they make your 2015 relationships just that little bit easier. Happy romancing!
Sources
http://www.popsugar.com/love/Facebook-Study-Finds-When-Breakups-Likely-Occur-11781078
http://fillingmyprayercloset.com/2014/09/29/no-means-no
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/the-18-unwritten-rules-texting-you-should-know.html
http://richysheart.com/2011/08/15/complacency-in-a-relationship
http://now-here-this.timeout.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/tumblr_m44uj19vsl1qcoa6s.gif
https://www.tumblr.com/search/ship:%20do%20you%20trust%20me
Edited by Sam Carey