Atychiphobia: Irrational or persistent fear of failure.
Fear of failure can creep in and ruin the happiness and confidence you once had. An exam, a job interview, a sports tournament, a new business idea, public speaking. It can happen a few times a month or year or even in everyday life. We will end up procrastinating on the task at hand that induces anxiety within us because it’ll allow us to deflect the discomfort for as long as possible. Yet, putting off whatever is causing us anxiety will eventually lead to a snowball effect, happening over and over again for everything within life that you find uncomfortable. It’s understandable why we don’t want to push ourselves outside of the box; our comfort zone is a safe and secure place whereas the fear of failing can become paralysing.
It happens to a lot of us. I remember dreading results day back in high school and sixth form. Absolutely everyone would ask how I performed: teachers, friends, classmates, parents, family. Everyone wanted to know. The fear of failure built up so much as I imagined 101 different scenarios of how I could’ve done better and how badly I’ve actually done, without even knowing my results. The same happens when we try something new; if we’re not great on our first attempt a lot of us automatically feel the embarrassment and regret even trying in the first place.
Yet, by allowing these thoughts to enter our brain, we subconsciously undermine our own efforts to avoid the possibility of potentially failing. The underlying reason for these self-defeating tendencies comes from your own self-worth. If you don’t believe in yourself and are constantly thinking negatively about your own worth and ability, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Persistent feelings of inadequacy and constant self-criticism are something I can say I’m guilty of, and most likely a lot of people can too. By allowing fear to stop our progress in life, we’re likely to miss some great opportunities along the way. We end up doing things within our own realm of safety to reassure ourselves and give the illusion of growth by researching, reading, learning anything but the actual thing we are so terrified of. We procrastinate to avoid the risk of being judged by others.
Nobody is hoping for you to fail. I know that must seem like a foreign concept that everybody in this world isn’t falsely encouraging you to do something in the hope of watching you break down and fail, but it’s true. The two types of people witnessing your ‘failure’ will be strangers and loved ones. It’s not going to resonate with the people you don’t know and isn’t going to matter. The people that will are those who truly care, and want to see you succeed. The barrier stopping you from achieving anything right now is yourself. It’s also pretty impossible to live such a cautious life that you don’t experience some kind of failure. The people that do aren’t living; they’re surviving.
Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed”. I think this is something that should resonate within us next time we’re faced with a situation that causes discomfort. Failure is necessary for true success. If we shy away from failure because we’re scared to disappoint others, we’ll never truly succeed. The more you grow and the bigger your aspirations become, there comes a bigger chance of failing. Yet, if you can face them, the bigger your success is.
It takes a lot of mental energy to change the irrational and negative mindset you’ve had for so long, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. If the way we speak to ourselves isn’t the way we speak to our family or friends, change needs to happen. Because we have to live with ourselves for the rest of our lives, so by making the place inside our head a bit more encouraging will make it a more manageable place to live.
Don’t give up. Be kind to yourself.
It doesn’t matter if you fail because you can try again, and again, until you get it right.
Remember why you tried in the first place.