What is the value of doing things we don’t actually enjoy, simply because we’ve been told that we are supposed to enjoy them? Prompted by recent discussion with my friends, I wanted to explore this question further.
So much of someone’s life is determined by chance. Nationality, prosperity and privilege are pre-set and determined for us at birth. Quite naturally then, as we grow up, we seek to push the barriers of our own world. However, the question remains: How do we become something we are not? Are we able to index an identity that we wish we had through acquiring things or experiences?
We are taught to want things that will help us complete our journey towards happiness. The latest water bottle trend, the newest makeup routine, or the best it-girl uni bag. We’re told that if we have these things in our possession, we’ll be content. Whilst it may be true that we are able to acquire some satisfaction from having these commodities, it appears that this is just a distraction to momentarily satisfy our deeper longing for meaning. This may seem extreme, but we are told that by buying the things that make us seem ‘better’, this will improve our overall quality of life.
We’re constantly sold aesthetics – Old-money, Dark Academia, and Clean Girl to name a few. It’s so easy to romanticise what we do not have whilst neglecting our own self that exists right before us. We are all told to always want more, seek more, do more. So, when does it stop?
The advent of the internet has allowed companies to push products on us like never before. Big corporations are now able to track our interests and tailor our advertisements. This all seeks to push the newest products onto us and keep us in the consumerist loop. The dystopian commodification of our daily lives is perhaps difficult to reconcile with some of our good perceptions of the world. You can spend thousands trying to achieve a certain look, fuelling companies’ profits, only to still feel like an imposter.
Even experiences that we’ve been told to enjoy become accessories to our version of self that we wish to show people. You may not actually enjoy drinking the latest matcha flavour added to the most expensive coffee shop’s menu, but you do it anyway. Attending events or experiences that complement what you want to associate with helps serve this broader purpose.
Of course, doing these things isn’t necessarily inherently bad. But seeing so many people on social media constantly latching onto every trend in an attempt to prove that they are the ‘it-person’ and the one that everyone should follow to be happy and have a great life can be.
Maybe we all need to step back once in a while and recognise that not every trend is for us. It’s okay to not enjoy what everyone else seems to be. It’s okay to have your favourite coffee order that is you’ve stuck with for years. We’re always told to spend money on every possible thing, but sometimes what isn’t for us, isn’t for us. And, that’s okay.