In our society we’re continually subjected to sexual activity from all angles, whether it’s being handed free condoms at Oceana, or watching the latest Hollywood hunk stripping eagerly for his raunchy bedroom scene. With the imminent arrival of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, I’m left wondering what our cultural obsession seems to be surrounding sex. Are we making up for years of societal oppression where sex was the strictest taboo subject? If so, then surely there is a better way to celebrate our newfound freedom than plastering pictures of half-naked men and women across our bedroom walls, billboards and television screens?
A scene from the upcoming film ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, due in UK cinemas February 2015
There seems to be far too much pressure surrounding the concept that sexy cannot exist without sex. The growth of the porn industry and its accessibility, and a greater acceptance of sex by the media seems to play a huge part in this. With so many channels of communication for young people displaying such an open attitude towards sexual behaviour, it’s no wonder that it could be interpreted as signs of encouragement. Last year Britain topped the charts in West Europe for the highest number of teenage pregnancies, with 2.9% of women giving birth doing so between the ages of 15 to 19. Not only is this a concerning product of somewhat whimsical attitudes, but this sexual emphasis can also lead to both men and women bullying their partners into sex to avoid teasing or disapproval from peers. But why can’t we be sexy without having to take things ‘all the way’?
Cheryl Holden and Michael Fernandes, who had their first child at ages 15 and 13 respectively
So here it is, let’s get down and dirty. If for whatever reason you don’t want to have sex, then there are plenty of other things you can do to satisfy both you and your partner until you’re ready to take things further.
1. Kissing
Sounds pretty basic, but never underestimate the value of a good old teenage make-out session. Not only does kissing create a sense of intimacy with your partner, but it can also be really passionate. You can even experiment a bit; don’t limit yourself to just their lips! Kissing eyelids and cheeks can be really cute, or softly kissing them down their neck and nibbling their ear can also be arousing.
2. Massage
Couples massaging is another great way of being more intimate with your partner without having to be explicitly sexual. Using body butter can work just as well as any massage oil, providing a relaxing and sensual experience for both of you.
3. Bathe Together
If you’re feeling shy then you can wear a swimming costume, bikini or briefs but bathing together is one of the most intimate things a couple can do. A nice bubble bath, with a movie on Netflix both relaxes you and acts as a visual experience. Add some champagne and strawberries if you’re feeling upmarket. You can get to know one another and one another’s bodies without having to even touch each other if you don’t want to, though a cuddle is always nice!
4. Role-play
A lot of people see role-playing as something overtly sexual, but it doesn’t have to be. The idea behind role-play is that for a short time you and your partner can be different people in new, exciting and often forbidden situations. This will keep you both interested while providing a lot of sexual tension.
5. Foreplay
For those who just don’t want to go all the way yet, but are happy to engage in some sexual activity first, then foreplay is perfect for this. Focusing on foreplay can actually sometimes be more arousing than sex, for both you and your partner. It gives you a chance to be seductively intimate, getting to know your partner and what they do and don’t like, which can come in handy later on!
These are just a few activities that you could try out with your partner if you’re not ready to take that final step. Just remember that no one should pressure you into doing something that you aren’t ready for or don’t want to do yet. Besides, a lot of this stuff can be more fun than the ‘real thing’, so have a go and see for yourselves!
Sources:
· http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/fifty-shades-grey-wont-grotesque-4252794
· http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-28860/UK-tops-league-teenage-pregnancy.html
· http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2011/07/07/13-year-old-dad-and-15-year-old-mum-to-wed-nine-years-later/
· http://www.cartoonaday.com/tag/kissing-couple-cartoon/
· http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photos-cartoon-massage-image12135958
· http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/e/elderly_couple.asp
– http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/f/foreplay.asp
Edited by Nicole Jones