One of the most challenging problems that face University relationships is distance. Whether it’s a boyfriend or girlfriend from home that you’re determined to stay with, heading on a year abroad while your partner stays behind, or meeting someone at your friend’s party in a different city and a different Uni, the common consensus seems to be that long-distance relationships bring nothing but frustration and, inevitably, heartache. However, as someone who has been in a long-distance relationship for well over a year now, and knowing many friends who are still very much with their partners across the country, I’m here to reassure you that it’s nowhere near as bad as people make out. But more than that, there are even some perks to the situation.
1) Less time pressure
Often partners at University are in the same halls, or ones next door to one another, and this stifling proximity can often cause more harm than good. Being so close to your other half means that there are times when you can feel really under pressure to spend every night together, because you feel like there is no excuse. 1st year Sociology student says: “It’s a bit weird to be honest [living in the same Hall of Residence]. We spend most evenings together and every night cause there’s not really an excuse is there? You can hardly say you want space cause she takes it the wrong way then”. Particularly in the early stages of a relationship, it can be damaging to throw yourself into a situation where you’re almost living together; this is very similar when living in Lenton as houses are a maximum of a ten minute walk away. Being in a long-distance relationship means less pressure to spend large chunks of time with your partner; you can have time apart and then better control when you come together and for how long.
2) Skype
One of the best inventions of the modern age. Just for a moment, imagine living in a world when the only way in which you could communicate across long-distances is via telegram or letters. Luckily, though you can be miles apart and separated by time zones, you can now see and speak to your partner as good as face to face as you can get without actually being next to one another. 3rd year Theology student, who has been with her long-distance boyfriend for 4 years, says: “I don’t know what we’d do without Skype. We don’t do it every night cause that’s a bit excessive, but we make sure we get a proper chance to actually speak to each other properly. It’s hard to explain. It’s just nice to see him, I guess.” Skype seems to make the parting just that little bit easier, and it can be a little more kinky if the mood takes you… which brings me onto my next highlight…
3) Encourages you to be sexually experimental
One of the biggest annoyances that seem to face young couples in long-distance relationships is the lack of sex. Often you hear horror stories of people missing it so much that it leads them to cheating, and such stories only serve to inflict doubt in your mind about your relationship. As soon as this seed of doubt has been planted, it will cause far more problems than are necessary in your relationship. One of the best things about being apart is that it actually encourages you to be more experimental in your sex life; because you can’t physically be with one another, you have to work harder to keep each other satisfied. It also means that there is far less of a chance that sex will ever get boring once you are back together again. A 2nd year Medic, whose girlfriend is in China on a year abroad, says “Phone sex is a God send. I thought it would be really awkward and it took us a while to get into it, but it’s actually pretty sick. I’d definitely recommend it.” Beyond that, Skype video can add another level of visualisation to ‘phone sex’ for those who fancy giving it a try. You can create fantasies that can then be acted upon when you see each other next; it reminds your partner what sex with you is like, whilst retaining the build-up of anticipation.
4) Absence makes the heart grow stronger
What can I say? There’s a reason it’s a cliché. Being away from your partner for long periods of time actually gives you the opportunity to miss them. In my experience, those who are in long-distance relationships actually emerge as stronger couples than those that spend vast amounts of time together too quickly. The danger is that you can end up exhausting yourselves too early on in the relationship if you spend too long together, and being in a long distance relationship automatically prevents this from happening. You have good reasons to be apart, and it means that you learn to appreciate the time you have together more when you have it. It encourages you to make the most of one another, and create good memories to hold onto until next time. And this is really the fundamental thing in order for a relationship to thrive: appreciating your partner.
There’s no denying that it can be immensely difficult not being close to your partner, especially at those times when you’re feeling a bit down and need someone to talk to. But you can go to your friends and form even stronger bonds with them, and if necessary your guy or girl is only a short phone call or Skype away. And hey, just imagine how great it will be when you see them next!
Sources
http://www.wethechange.com/4-steps-to-improved-time-management/
http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/03/40-excellent-logos-created-with-helvetica/
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19005291-criminal-pleasures
http://imgfave.com/view/3513487
Edited by Nicole Jones