I first heard the term ‘serial monogamist’ when I was 16 watching 4 Weddings and a Funeral; at this point, I laughed at the term not realising yet that I myself would soon end up painted with that brush. For those of you that don’t know, a serial monogamist is someone who engages in a succession of monogamous relationships. They differ from the serial dater in that they looove commitment (to an extent), and choose long-term relationships which they run away from at a much later date. And so the cycle repeats itself every time. It took me a while to realise my behaviour fit into that of a serial monogamist, and to avoid anyone else not being able to figure out their own serial monogamy, I created a handy list compiled from the experiences of me and any other serial monogamists in my circle of friends.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A BF/GF
If you think back to the last few years, and you remember most of your memories based on who you were with at the time, then you might just fall into this category.
RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE SECOND NATURE
Serial monogamists know how to be in a relationship. They know what they expect and how relationships work, and they find the swing and rhythm of a new relationship straight away because they’re just so darn experienced in them.
YOU’RE NEVER SINGLE FOR VERY LONG
The serial monogamist is never single for long. And if they are single, they’re probably dating someone in some intense pseudo-relationship/rebound.
YOU STRUGGLE WITH RANDOM HOOK UPS
Perhaps it’s the lack of emotional connection, or maybe you just don’t find random boys grinding all over you attractive, but serial monogamist’s usually aren’t too great with one-night stands.
YOU HATE DATING
Dating is so tiring. You can’t just throw on … Plus, without a proper connection people can be just so unattractive.
OFTEN, YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU’RE GOING TO END UP WITH NEXT, EVEN BEFORE YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP IS FULLY OVER
Serial monogamists crave relationships and don’t know how to be without a boyfriend/girlfriend. They’re already aware of who they’ll be dating next, even if their last relationship isn’t totally done yet.
A LOT MORE EX’S
Look through your list of serious ex’s; is it much longer than that of your current other half? If so, it might be because you’re a serial monogamist.
YOU FLY THROUGH THE FIRST FEW STEPS OF COMMITMENT, BUT FREAK OUT WHEN IT GOES ANY FURTHER
Commitment is easy for the serial monogamist. Monogamy comes naturally, and they’ll be loyal to a fault. But, once the first few steps of commitment have been rushed through, a freak-out and some cold feet are what’s in store. A serial monogamist runs away when it gets a bit too real and serious – hitting the anniversary mark might rattle your bones.