The word compromise is often presented with a positive connotation, representing mutual concessions to achieve a common goal. However, this definition fails to realize the gravity of the losses that are associated with compromise if it is chosen as a way of life. We who reconcile ourselves with the idea of compromise consistently allow ourselves to accept standards that are lower than desirable in order to please the opposing forces in our lives, whether they are those we are in relationships with, the society which surrounds us, or simply the negative thoughts within us.
Compromise has been a key character in the story of my life for much longer than I’d like to admit. This is due to the fact that it is easy for a compromise to disguise itself as a dream. My last three years were defined by a relationship that I believed to be the culmination of all my dreams, though in reality it was actually stifling them.
Throughout high school I imagined a cosmopolitan future in which I moved to New York, worked in publishing, and became part of the glamour that is the city (a la Carrie Bradshaw). However, when it came time to work towards making these dreams a reality, I chose to let them remain simply dreams. This is because I knew that my dreams were not his dreams. He wanted an adventurous life on the west coast, and I wanted a glamorous life on the east coast. His potential industry was thriving there, and mine was not. He wanted to be the person he had become in college, and I missed the one I had fallen for in high school.
So, rather than realizing these irreconcilable differences, I compromised. I compromised the person I wanted to be. I compromised the culture, glamour, and possible success of the future. I compromised my potential in order to align my dreams with someone else’s, when he never asked me to. I compromised the fun and excitement of dating in college for a relationship that simply wasn’t working. I compromised true happiness for a pseudo-happiness that I had created.
Still, I would never say the last three years of my life were wasted. They were made up of beautiful memories and lessons that I would not trade for the world – the greatest of which is to never compromise.
As Notre Dame students, we need to remind ourselves that we are the best and the brightest, and therefore, we do not compromise. Our standards are high in all aspects of life, and should remain that way because, for us, the world is full of endless possibilities. Now is the time to realize your worth.
So, pick the major you are passionate about, join the clubs you love, ask out the cute guy in accounting, and continue to dream big – because we have the ability to make our dreams a reality.
We are much too young to compromise.
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