Steven on: The One

Steven is a junior at Notre Dame as well as a ladies man. We were surprised when he wanted to contribute to HCND but he said he felt like he has opinions he needs to share with the general ND female population. To be honest we were super curious as to what he had to say, as it’s always interesting to get a look inside the mind of the Brotre Dame male

Some of you girls have been looking for the one as soon as you stepped onto campus. Some of you think you found him already. Some of you are convinced when you meet “the one” you’ll “just know,” while others believe a man will only force you to give up your career, forsake your dreams and drive a mini-van for life. Some of you probably fall into a few of these categories at once. The only thing you all have in common is that you’re probably all completely lost. Here are some things to consider before you create the attitude, which mistakenly, you think somehow should define you:

1. You’re friends are great, but don’t listen to them. Talking with your friends about issues is a good thing; they can offer insight into their experiences that can help you a lot. However, when it comes to finding the person you think is “the one,” and especially when it comes to developing your outlook towards finding him – it’s your decision and not theirs. If you’re going to think about it then think, don’t get other people’s feelings confused with your own.
2. Listen to Ernest Hemingway. Remember that Hemingway quote about doing things sober you said you’d do drunk so you realize how stupid you were when you were drunk? Same thing applies to you ladies. Too many of you make decisions on “the one” after one bad experience when your emotions, and your friends, are cheering you on. Let things calm down and then be rational. To you ladies with long distance boyfriends who think you found someone better, never make the decision before you see that guy back home again. There are not many worse feelings of regret when you make the move based on the support of friends at school who’ve never actually met the guy from back home.
3. Sex & The City isn’t real life. Every guy in the world hates that show, and every other show, that makes girls today think there’s some magical place where men are always attractive, rich, and are going to fall immediately in love, or at least obsessed, with you. Harsh reality is it doesn’t exist. Another harsh reality: the closest you’ll get to that is college. If you’re waiting to be wined and dined by rich, mature doctors in Manhattan to find the man of your dreams, be prepared for a long wait. You actually have a pretty great shot at ND to find a guy whose going to be like that in the future. Remember, at our age it’s more about whether the guy has ambition.
4. Remember Grandma and Grandpa. Like many of you, my grandparents met at 17 and the rest is history. It’s important to note, love and commitment hasn’t changed since they grew up, just society saying single is better. If you think you have met the guy, then stay with him. Don’t be foolish and naïve to think you couldn’t meet anyone else if you two don’t work out, but never forget that once upon a time meeting someone young was the norm, and it worked out a hell of a lot better than our system, just ask divorce lawyers.

Just remember, it’s your choice how to view finding your “one.” Never believe there couldn’t be anyone else, because many before you have thought the same thing only to go on to find their actual “one.” At the same time don’t be afraid to hold on, if you’ve a real good thing going, then work through the BS and make it work. Note: Notre Dame alums who marry each other have like a 5% divorce rate, just sayin’.

Have a question/situation you’ve always wanted a honest male opinion about? Anonymously ask Steven here

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