January has always been my favorite month as we not only start a new year but more importantly, a new semester. Something about new school supplies, seeing friends again and a new schedule always brings out my excitement for school; but this semester was a bit different for me. I found myself clinging to the last few days of winter break, almost dreading going back. For some context, last semester was hard for me, like “I want to go home and never come back” level hard. I’m sure everyone on campus has experienced a phase like this, maybe more than one, where there is no end in sight, and school unapologetically beats the crap out of you. Part of it is the nature of attending a competitive school, but an even larger part of it is the standards we put on ourselves. Since my semester of doom, I’ve realized that while many things are out of my control, what can be managed is how I move forward.
A friend once told me that one of the best things we can do to take care of ourselves is check in and readjust before things get really bad. She compared it to driving a car: if you feel the wheels starting to go off course, recenter yourself before you drive into a ditch. Starting a new semester is the perfect time to set a good foundation and stay on course, but I’ve realized that I won’t be able to keep my eyes on the road if I keep looking back.
The first step for me—which sounds incredibly dramatic—has been forgiveness. At the end of the day, we have to acknowledge the outcome of the previous semester, good or bad, and choose to accept it. I have noticed during my time at Notre Dame that I’m often overwhelmed by the things that go wrong, and as a result, fail to celebrate the victories. If I make these setbacks my identity, I’m not truly setting myself up for success. Especially returning to school after a particularly rough semester, it’s crucial to be able to recognize that what’s done is done. I can only control what is to come.
The next practice that has been a major aspect of beginning this semester is setting in place activities that I look forward to. Last semester, I found that when things became really difficult in school, I neglected my life outside of my classes and assignments. I convinced myself that I didn’t have the time for things that truly made me happy, like hanging out with friends, going to spin class and even tailgating, which is TRAGIC now that I think about it! I fell into a cycle of feeling guilty when I had fun and not fully enjoying my time off. Then I never felt like I truly took any time to relax since I would think about school the whole time I did. Time away is okay; in fact, it’s so important and will help you perform better on school work in the long run.
One final thing I am trying to do this semester is to remind myself why I do what I do. When things get difficult it’s so easy to forget what we love about our major and even our school. Take your rough semester as simply another necessary step towards what you came here to accomplish, not the end all be all. It’s easy and sometimes necessary to bulldoze through all of the hard work just to get through it, but I truly get the most out of my time here by being present.
This is to anyone starting fresh after a setback. You are more than numbers and more than that rough semester! Be kind to yourself.
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