I was lying on my futon for my second consecutive Saturday night in watching True Blood on Amazon Prime Instant Video. I was terrified because I had somehow gone through two and half seasons in less than a week and I would soon have to start paying actual money to continue to binge watch these vampires and their sexual exploits rather than just paying with my dignity. Equally as horrifying, Anthony from Einstein’s officially knows my name, dorm and that he needs to call pretty far in advance because I’m never actually on my way to the lobby when I say I am. We had a moment on the phone.
That was the night. That was the night I asked myself the same question that almost every college sophomore will inevitably ask herself at their absolute lowest point: what the hell am I doing with my college career?
I call it the mid-college life crisis. The point where sophomores realize their time as underclassmen is dwindling away as rapidly as their flex point balance and panic ensues.
College is halfway over. It’s fifty percent finished. Done in two years.
We repeat these phrases over and over because we’re paralyzed by the thought of wasting away what’s supposed to be the most transformative time in our lives by choosing our pillow pets and the cast of Friends over a drunken fifteen minute lap around O’Neill house that stimulates your slight claustrophobia and unexpected need to shower.
And the thing is, you never see it coming. High school, to me, felt like moving in quicksand and I still refuse to believe my mom when she tells me I was only there for four years. How is it possible, then, that my two years at Notre Dame have felt more like one semester?
So, you question everything about your time in college. You suddenly don’t know if you’ve been to Feve is enough, or the fact that you only awkwardly avoid contact with one guy in the dining hall is some kind of comment on your willingness to be spontaneous in your life. Not a single ND Crush, I mean, what is even the point??
We’ve all been there. And it’s ok.
It’s easy to look at your life and dwell on everything you neglected to do rather than all of the amazing things you’ve had the drive to accomplish during your time as a collegiate. It can feel like everyone at college has this reputation that they’re living the “party” lifestyle, as if the only way to have fun and make memories is to go out and drink. But in reality, we all know that the most memorable moments are the ones where you’re acting so ridiculous with your roommates that you get a noise complaint or when you’re in a deep intellectual discussion with the other amazing women in your life.
And even if you still feel like there aren’t enough of those moments in your life, that’s the best thing about the mid-college crisis – you still have two years to make it count.
Either way, you got this, girl.
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