On those days when I’m running late for class and rocking sweats, I sometimes joke to my friends: “who cares, I’m still sexy!” Do I really think I look sexy in my extra large sweatpants, high school lacrosse sweatshirt, and frizz-a-licious hair? Not a chance. So why is that my default response?
Well, because by “sexy,” what I really mean is “valuable.” Let me explain, with the help of my favorite guilty pleasure dance song: a David Guetta classic – “Sexy Chick.” This song lays out the secrets of sexy.
“Every girl in here wanna be her”
Sexy is the center of attention; she stands out. It’s that “can’t-quite-pinpoint-it” quality that entices everyone around, captivating their attention. Of all the ladies, she’s the cream of the crop. She’s that girl at the party we’re all jealous of, because she looks so good and everyone knows it.
“I wanna meet her”
Sexy attracts the guys – they want to meet her, they want to get to know her, maybe they just want her. She incites desire because sexy is desirable; she is something worth desiring. She’s that girl all the guys talk about and want to talk to, if ever they were lucky enough to get the chance.
“She’s nothin like a girl you’ve ever seen before”
Sexy makes an impression. She’s unforgettable and irreplaceable. Sexy is her own person, and other girls couldn’t be just like her if they tried. Guys chase after her because she’s not just any girl – she’s different, she’s special.
Summary: Sexy = desirable = worth
It may sound silly, but it’s a formula we all know, whether or not we subscribe to it. For example, when we go out and don’t feel cute, or no one notices us, why can that make us feel so bad about ourselves? Not feeling desired can make us wonder if we’re worth desiring. But to test this equation, let’s work it backwards. To have “worth” as a person, does one have to be “desirable?” And is your “sexiness” all that is to be desired about you?
This is where the formula breaks down. Personal worth is not dependant on how “sexy” a person is, or how many people find them attractive. We know that, but it can be difficult to remember when “sexy” is proclaimed as the ultimate of desirability. It sneaks into our minds, and shows itself in little comments like “who cares if I’m wearing sweatpants – I’m still sexy!” What we really mean is: my value doesn’t change based on how I look, or how “sexy” I currently appear.
So write yourself a new formula, and show that to the world: Worth = me. All the time.