There’s nothing like quality family time during the Holidays! With Christmas just around the corner, the prospect of meeting every aunt/uncle/cousin/grandparent in your family rapidly approaches, as well as the stress that comes with it. Though spending time with family can be great, it can also be kind of chaotic.
We all have those weird, unique relatives our family gatherings wouldn’t be the same without. In honor of the impending holiday season, I poled some of my friends on the relatives that have characterized their holiday gatherings and have come up with the eight family stereotypes we all deal with during the season.
The matchmaker
Why start an E-Harmony or Match.com account when you have relatives like this? It has become almost a yearly ritual for said relative to corner you and inquire you about your romantic history (or lack of one). They are always asking you about your love life, creating romantic scenarios from the limited pool of male friends you describe to them, and are just itching to plan your wedding. They tend to ask that dreaded question, “How is it that a girl as smart, pretty, and talented as you is still single?” which ultimately just makes you want to go like this:
The Feminist/Liberal/politically progressive relative
This relative loves to start conversations on the gender wage gap, perceptions of women in the media, LGBTQ issues, and how awesome Notorious RBG is. They definitely don’t shy away from starting a good argument at the dinner table, but have also had to perfect the art of knowing when to stop the argument when it gets out of hand (or maybe they haven’t learned that yet).
The relative who questions your major/ life choices/career prospects
This is the first question they ask:
And this is how you always react to that question:
They always ask about your major, your future job plans, and basically expect you to have the next 30 years of your life out. They’ll definitely tell you all about how they had their life entire life figured out by your age. For Christ’s sake, you’re still figuring out how to cook a decent meal without setting off the fire alarm!
The “Weight Watchers” relative
They certainly make the freshman 15 feel a thousand times worse than it should be, and don’t hesitate to point out how much you’ve “filled out” since the last time you were home. They tend to make subtle comments about your eating habits at the dinner table, and you really wish they would focus on something other than your stomach.
The loner
This relative definitely isn’t in what you would consider the “Christmas spirit.” This relative (usually a younger sibling or cousin) brought the bare essentials needed to avoid any and all human contact outside of dinner: video game console, Netflix subscription, iPad, iPhone, Android, you name it. They rarely, if ever, talk. and though you really want to chastise them for not joining in quality family time, you also secretly envy how they’ve been able to avoid the ensuing family chaos and occasionally join them in their game of Super Smash Bros.
The uncomfortably racist/ sexist/ homophobic relative
You have to love them, because they are family, but this person clashes a lot with number feminist/liberal/progressive relative and says those really, really uncomfortable remarks that just make you cringe. Whether it’s a comment on women’s roles (you just “love” how they keep insinuating how women belong in the kitchen), the occasional racist remark, or a homophobic implication (*wince*), they usually leave the majority of people at the dinner table feeling noticeably uncomfortable.
The “Chef” relative
Probably your favorite relative, this one voluntarily brings the best food to the table. Christmas dinner as you know it would be non-existent without their out of this world turkey, pecan pie, soup, you name it! You can smell their heavenly concoctions from a mile away, and the sight of their food on the table is proof of the existence of a God.
Whether you love them, can’t stand them, or are eternally embarassed by them, you can’t deny that they’re family and, if nothing else, they make for great stories to your friends when classes roll around in January!
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