Another year, another Valentine’s Day. Though February 14th means something different to everyone, there’s one kind of relationship in particular that I’d like to pay homage to: long distance. What with the recent release of study abroad decisions, many of us are wondering what we are going to do without our significant others next year. Whether you are going to be boyfriendless, girlfriendless or best friendless this coming semester, being separated from your other half can be a daunting prospect.
Believe it or not, there is a bright side. I’ve been dating the same boy since middle school. Suddenly, two years ago, we found ourselves on opposite ends of the country: as he went off to SMU in Dallas I found myself here, at Notre Dame. Though the miles between us have often felt like more than I could handle, we’ve yet to give up. At first, I looked at our time in college as just something to get through; an obstacle of sorts, like a dark tunnel with a light waiting at the end of it.
I’ve done a lot of thinking lately. Everything happens for a reason, right? College and studying abroad are supposed to be some of the best times of our lives, even if they separate us from the people we love. Though the distance may seem like a burden at first, it can be a real blessing if you know how to look at the glass half full. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You know what they say, you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. It’s true! All of the “if”s and “but”s just seem to fade away when your S.O. isn’t by your side and you know you would give anything to have them back. Distance always has a way of setting priorities straight.
Every little word counts. Texts, phone calls, emails—whatever, communication is everything. There’s no such thing as awkward small talk when even the smallest details of his or her day seem new and exciting. You know things are good when an extra “ha” makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Say goodbye to trust issues. Whether or not your other half lives across town, across the country, or across the Atlantic—staying exclusive is a major leap of faith. Though you may be used to having the same friends, taking the same classes or going to the same parties as one another, loosening the reins a bit might be easier than you think—like a breather of sorts. And when you place that much trust in one person not to hurt you, you’ll know you two can get through anything.
Being independent, together. Even though it feels like he or she “completes you,” that’s not necessarily a good thing. Being apart from your S.O. will not only strengthen your relationship with each other, it will strengthen you as an individual, too. While it’s important that he or she is always there to catch you when you fall, the only person you should rely on to make you feel good about yourself is you. Having separate experiences, doing your first keg stand, seeing the Eiffel tower, and making memories of your own will give you a sense of self worth that can outlast any relationship status. The stronger the halves, the stronger the whole.
Most of all, when you two do finally reunite, it will be a moment unlike any else. Until then, live it up!