For me, one of the biggest adjustments from high school to college was leaving my friends from high school. I’m now a college junior and I still have really strong ties with a handful of friends from high school. Don’t get me wrong, the friends I’ve met in college are incredible, but just because I have friends here, doesn’t make my friends from home any less valuable to me. College has changed my relationship with my friends from home, there’s no doubt about that, but adjusting to long distance has been so rewarding because I’ve been able to maintain and nourish my friendships even though they’re far away. Long distance friendships, just like long distance romantic relationships, aren’t easy, but if you’re willing to put in the effort, your friendships will continue to flourish, even when you aren’t together.
Here are my tips for nourishing friendships long distance:
Snail Mail
I always love getting mail. Sometimes, I’ll order something from Amazon Prime that I could easily buy from The Huddle, just so I can get a package. Shipping is free, so why not? This makes me sound SUPER lame and lonely, but it’s fine. The point is, getting packages and letters is AWESOME. If you have the funds, pick up your best friend’s favorite candy, write them a little note, and send it out! It might seem silly to pay postage for some candy and a letter, but receiving a little care package from a friend is so nice. Pictured is a care package that my friend sent me before finals last year. A nice handwritten letter can have the same effect. Every month or so, I try to send my friends letters just to see how they’re doing. No matter how you do it, snail mail lets your friends know that you’re thinking about them and it will probably brighten their day to get some mail that isn’t advertisements.
Check up on them and reach out to them
Similarly, checking in with your friends through texting or DMing them some memes is a good way to reach out quickly. I try to check in with my friends once a week or so, but if one of my friends seems stressed when I check in with them, I usually try to keep in contact for a couple days to make sure that they’re doing alright because being a friend is active, not passive. One thing that I love about having close friends who live far away is having a support system that is completely isolated from any drama that you could be having at school. Roommate or friend drama? Calling a friend from home is a great way to vent about whatever’s going on to someone who has an objective point of view if you want advice, but who will always take your side if you just want to vent.
Making fun plans for when you’re together
During the summers, obviously not all of my friends come home, but I love to hang out with the ones who are local often to take advantage of the proximity. One thing that is important for these plans is making them fun and stepping out of your comfort zone a little bit. Over the summer, a friend and I made a master list of all the cool coffee shops in our area that we wanted to try. Although we failed to visit all of them, it was fun to try new, unique places in our area. A couple of my friends and I did a hot yoga trial membership, which ended up being a highlight of my summer! That being said, my friend group has a couple summer traditions, one being Girls’ Weekend. Girls’ Weekend is a trip up to my friend’s cabin. We swim, lay out, eat a “table nacho”, and have girl talk. I’ve gone to approximately five Girls’ Weekends and it’s always part of summer that I look forward to. While Netflix nights, Starbucks dates, and other traditions will never go out of style, trying new things and being adventurous with your friends will help the friendships grow with you! Pictured is the signature Girls Weekend table nacho.
Trips
One super fun part about long distance friendships is when someone can come visit. I LOVE having visitors and going to visit friends because it’s fun to show my friends where I go to school and to go see their schools. Over fall break last year, one of my friends turned twenty, so some friends and I went to Ann Arbor for the weekend to celebrate with her. It was a little friend group reunion for the weekend and to be able to spend time with all of them at the same time was awesome. Pictured is our friend group reunited! (P.S. please don’t hate me for wearing maize and blue)
NOTE: these tips can also be applied to friends from college over breaks!
Maintaining any sort of meaningful relationship isn’t easy. It requires effort, but losing a friend for lack of effort is a pretty sad way to lose a friend. College means change for friendships, but it doesn’t have to mean that your friendships will fade. Anything worth having is worth working for.
All images provided by author
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