It’s December, and that can only mean two things: first, finals are here. But second, and more importantly, it’s time to begin obsessively watching everyone’s holiday favorite, Elf.
In fact, sometimes the life of a college student entrenched in finals week and Buddy’s naive shenanigans in NYC are difficult to tell apart. Let’s compare.
Wow, you’re really on a roll here. You’ve got your headphones plugged in and you’re jamming to your “Super Sick Study Tunes” playlist while slaying homework problems left and right. Your brain is feeling pretty good about itself, and you’re thinking, “Hey, maybe this studying thing isn’t that bad.”
But then your friends bust through the door and beg you to go on some undisclosed adventure, or to watch just one season of “The Office” on Netflix, or to drop everything and take up sign language with them. Maybe next week, but right now there’s no way you’re going to let them cramp your study style. “Not now, Arctic Puffin!” — It’s the new and improved “Bye Felicia.”
You’ve spent the better part of an hour trying to solve that one stubborn math problem, covering your paper with a mountain of eraser shavings. You plug numbers into formula after formula, but nothing seems to be working.
As a last resort you finally try the obvious answer, and, lo and behold, it’s correct. Just like Buddy’s failed attempts to foil this Santa imposter, you can’t help but feel a little dismayed. That answer was way too simple to be true. But, unlike Buddy, you probably aren’t complaining all that much.
This reaction subsequently follows whenever you use the phrase “calories don’t count” this week. Usually heard at 11:30pm, this phrase is best uttered when huddled over the care package your mom sent you, mouth full of chocolate and sweet, sweet carbohydrates.
You know you’re in full finals mode when you procrastinate from studying by creating an extensive, down-to-the-minute plan of how you’re eventually going to study, color coded and everything. Including the time you’ve allotted to spend creating said schedule.
Your schedule may not appear as fun and festive as Buddy the Elf’s, but you are absolutely just as proud of it. Look at that flawless time management and diligent highlighting. If your study schedule were a person, it would have a face pretty enough for a Christmas card.
This is just an all-encompassing response to the horrors of finals week. Can apply really any time: when you realize how much you have left to do, when ABP runs out of its caffeinated Hazelnut glory and you have to switch to decaf, or when someone mentions the buzzwords “med school”, “Mendoza curve”, or “Orgo”.
Class is five minutes from over when your professor grins and casually mentions that the exam is only “semi-cumulative.” You appreciate the attempt, but you know he’s fronting with you. What he really means is, “I’m acting like this exam is a breeze, but seriously you better know that one statistic I put in fine print on my PowerPoint in September.”
Nice try, but you see through that thinly-veiled façade of his. Prof, please. Next, is he going to try to tell you that a semi-truck is only “part truck”?
You’re sitting in a crunchy nest of loose-leaf, poring over your stack of notes and about ready to give up hope. But suddenly your nose catches something drifting through the snowflakes in your hallway: the scent of freshly baked cookies.
Is this real life, or is it just fantasy? Your stomach takes control of our legs and you find yourself sprinting toward the basement, where one of your hall-mates is, in fact, wielding a plate of sugary goodness. You approach this guardian angel and express your gratitude in Will Ferrell fashion. Definitely NOT an overreaction.
Go Irish, beat finals! And if all this studying makes you start to feel like a cotton-headed ninny muggins, hang in there: Christmas is almost here.
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