In hushed voices and on social media platforms everywhere, people have started talking about “them.” They don’t want you to succeed. They don’t want you to eat breakfast. They don’t want you to be on a Jet Ski doing 360s.
Who is this mysterious “they.” and why are they so concerned with restricting your behavior in such specific ways? What did a jet ski or a nice breakfast ever do to them?
Such are the questions that DJ Khaled’s Snapstory has running through our curious minds. For those of you who have yet to give your heart and soul over to the Snapchat ghost, DJ Khaled is a Miami-bred DJ and record producer, as well as president of Def Jams South record label. He’s worked alongside Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, T-Pain, and just about anybody who’s anybody in the hip hip world. If you’ve ever energetically danced to “All I Do is Win” as an excuse to revive the feeling in your arms at a frigid ND football game, you have Khaled to thank for that one.
Khaled’s most recent public project, however, hasn’t been musical at all. He’s been taking the Snapchat world by storm in the last few months, captivating our attention through a play-by-play of life in the flip flops of DJ Khaled. His account, DJKhaled305, is the epitome of entertainment in the modern age: raw and unfiltered (except for a snap filter here or there), right at our fingertips, and just weird enough to keep us interested.
But unlike the average Snap story, we aren’t simply peeking in as Khaled enjoys his afternoon snack or gets a pedicure. Nope, he wants to chat with us. Just as Aristotle and Plato may have gathered their students around an old oak tree to impart their philosophy, DJ Khaled gathers his fans together at his Snapstory to proclaim his own funky wisdom.
His most-loved mantra is centered on Khaled’s “keys for success,” ranging from actual life advice (“Bless up. Don’t play yourself”) to philosophizing whatever random thing he’s currently doing (“It’s important to shape up your hedges. It’s like getting a haircut”). Never again will the key emoji be just another sad, unused placeholder on your keyboard – according to Khaled, it’s now a tool on your journey to more success.
It’s not only an entertaining way to zone off in your 9:25 lecture (not that we’re endorsing that); it’s brilliant marketing. What better way to connect with millennials than by subtly monopolizing one of the apps that they use the most? It’s tough to go through your day without hearing or seeing someone quote Khaled’s wisdom; even my middle-school brother has been notoriously known to caption his snapchats “anotha one” like the music mogul himself.
If you’ve already powered through all of DJ Khaled’s many daily Snapstories, have no fear: you can now cheer yourself up with unlimited Khaled-isms through this handy meme generator created by someone with WAY too much time on their hands. Whether you’re stressing over exams, wondering what your next “major key” should be, or just looking for some general motivation, you’ll find it there!
“They” may not want you to win, but now you’ve got good ol’ DJ Khaled on your Snapchat friends list AND on your side.
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