After days of avoiding the actual watching of the show while talking endless smack about it to all my culturally relevant friends, I finally broke down and watched The Irish Bachelorette this Monday night.
[Note: We’re all going to pretend that two weeks of episodes is enough for me to be a snarkily reluctant latecomer to its audience and not just a shameless fan who happened to be busy during the premiere.]
Obviously, there’s a wealth of commentary that can be done based on this media phenomenon. A person could explore the picture that the show presents on Notre Dame gender relations. One could address the feasibility of adapting this national cultural artifact to a circumstance and audience as specific as a college campus. One could speculate about the reasons why it has taken off so strongly among the student body.
I am not going to do any of these things.
Many of these things crossed my mind as I was watching the show, but I was primarily left with one thought: “Wow, look at those date ideas!”
With two broadcasted episodes under their belt, the production team behind The Irish Bachelorette have presented its viewership with a wealth of ideas for places to take your crush/significant other/betrothed/life partner on a date within the comforting membrane of the Notre Dame Bubble. Now that cuts have been made and the real getting-to-know-you fun has begun, let’s take a look at the options presented to us by this week’s Episode Two.
The Rock.
Say what you want about the awkwardness of this six-on-one spectacle of a date; I say it’s a great idea. It seems to me that there is no better way to evaluate potential mates than by forcing them to engage in vaguely violent physical activity while half of them are being shamelessly objectified as a function of their near nakedness. Think of how great life could be if every single lady on this campus got to just watch from the observation deck while all the guys she’s interested in went at it in a rousing bout of walleyball! Sign me up, Rockne Memorial Dating Service.
South Bend Chocolate Company.
Whatever. I want to say something about how pathetic it is that the state of ND dating is such that this entirely average dessert café comes off as the ideal date location simply by virtue of its offcampusness, but let’s not kid around – they make some darn tasty sweets. Bonus points if the gentleman/-men end(s) your Chocolate Café date with a jaunt over to the Football Hall of Fame backyard field for a 50-yard line serenade of Notre Dame-related choral music.
Glee Club friendships are a beautiful thing.
South Dining Hall.
As a friend of mine said as we watched the dramatic mid-range close-up of the Bachelorette and her dates swiping their ID cards, “The only thing more aw[esome]* than a one-on-one dining hall date is a three-on-one dining hall date.” Going for a romantic meal at the DH with your boo is fine and all, but going for a romantic meal – still at a marginalized four-seater “date table,” of course – with a small harem of potential boos? Now we’re talkin’, Notre Dame. A dining hall date may not be box tickets to the Metropolitan Opera, but it sure will be interesting as long as you keep the ratio several-to-one. Just ask this guy!
So, Irish Bachelorette, great job with your first round of romantic locales (and perfect moments for screen grabs) in the 46556. I can hardly wait for what you’ll come up with next week – fingers crossed for the grotto!
Photo 1 by Meredith Holland, Photos 2,3: screenshots