I recently read an HCND article by the talented writer Kaitlin Maggiore titled Sex Worth Waiting For. I really enjoyed her article. I think it was well written and raised some key points about the importance of waiting for sex. I’m not writing this response in retaliation or to attack every point she made simply because I don’t agree with it. I’m actually here to praise the article, and Kaitlin herself.
We live in a consumer society right? It’s all about the new fad, the next craze, the hype of the novelty. And since we’re always fueled by that desire of wanting more, it’s easy to fall into the trap of casual sex. Yes, I say trap because sex is a marketing ploy. When was the last time you saw a commercial for condoms that was about a married couple? It plays up the one night stands, the thrill of no commitment. A lot of men and women in this day and age get caught up in it. Well, my friends are all having sex and I want to try it too because I’ve never done it and it sounds like fun! I’m not saying that’s the thought process for everyone who has decided to not wait to have sex, but there is an element of not wanting to be the odd one out. And therefore Kaitlin, I praise you. You’ve made a choice to wait to have sex, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for you because of it. You’ve held steadfast in your decision, something that can’t have been easy over the years, even at a place like Notre Dame.
I’m going to go out on a limb here— and please correct me if I’m wrong, I mean no disrespect— but I assume you were raised Catholic, just like many of our peers. I assume your sexual education came from a religious standpoint. I assume you are waiting for marriage. And again, correct me if I’m wrong, but I assume this is what you were taught and therefore this is what you think. I don’t mean to make it sound like you or anyone else raised this way hasn’t thought about this for themselves. You are a bright girl and I imagine you’ve weighed your options when it comes to your sexual behaviour. And I stand by my earlier statement— I respect you for it more than you will ever know. But you are not the only type of person out there. Your education was not the only way of addressing sex. And your faith is not the only faith out there. My religion tells us that sex is meant to be a connection between a man and a woman where pleasure is the ultimate goal, because that pleasure allows for a surge of energy in the universe that reconnects us as a race. I’m sure that sounds absurd to you. But when Catholics tell me that I should only have sex with one person in my entire life, it sounds just as absurd to me. I’m not critiquing your religion or your beliefs. I have mine and you have yours. I do not intend for my articles to be guidelines for anyone. In fact, if you’ve read all of them, you would see that I want people to learn from some of the mistakes I’ve made. I want everyone to have the freedom of making their own choices. I simply offer a different perspective.
Xx, Gemma
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