This semester is in full swing and class work is beginning to pile up. Knowing how burnt out I was last semester and knowing how few breaks I had, more rest is very much desired. I already feel overwhelmed. Classes are hard and professors are trying to lighten the load, but is that even possible at a top university during a pandemic?
This has always been a problem of mine. I stress about getting work done and then I feel like I just can’t do enough to be prepared for everything. This is the problem with being a high achieving student – you never feel like you are ready or good enough.
Like I said before, this has always been a problem for me. Well, at least since middle school, and before that life was just a blur and my biggest concern was the snack I was going to pack inside of my lunch each day. As the pressures of high school started piling up and I continued to dream of attending Notre Dame, there were plenty of panic attacks and days spent crying because I just did not get enough done in my day.
My teachers and mentors told me that I was succeeding and I just needed to continue doing my best. I had one teacher who told me mediocrity and doing the bare minimum is more than enough every single day. I was dumbfounded by this idea that I was excelling, but doing the basic things for myself and the world was more than enough.
She told me to make a list of the things to accomplish each day and that I should add everything that I have already done for the day. Nothing was too small to add to the list. She encouraged me to write down getting out of bed, making my bed, eating something, and even watching a television show. I did as I was told and about a week later she told me the importance of the exercise.
She wanted to stress to me that there are only so many hours in the day and sometimes I will accomplish huge tasks and do amazing things, but other days will be normal and I will not do much and that is perfectly fine too. She had done this exercise with other students before and it helped that she knew us well enough to know the struggles we had encountered in our lives.
I struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. My mom and grandma even tell me stories of me panicking at the age of 3 or 4 over seemingly minute details about life. I have also battled depression, which is never fun, but I would like to think I have come out as a stronger, better person from it.
You see, my teacher knew these struggles that I had and that is why she had me do this exercise of writing down everything that I had accomplished each day for a week as well as keeping up with my regular to-do list. She told me to think back to some of my not so great days and asked if I even had the energy to get out of bed, to feed myself, to even take a shower. My answer was no, and then I started to get it.
Those little tasks were not so small to my body that needed rest and recovery. Eating a meal nourished me throughout the day. Taking a shower was my time to relax and transition to bed time for myself. Watching a television show was a way to laugh with my family and stray away from the overwhelming list of things to do in a day.
By making the list, I was able to see everything that I do on a daily basis that might not save the world but is definitely saving me. Instead of getting bogged down now about the reading I didn’t have time to finish or the paper that I may need an extension on, I think about the fact that I took a trip to the Grotto and got much needed mental, emotional and spiritual clarity.
It can be so difficult to be gracious to yourself and to be proud of everything that you accomplish, especially when your to-do list seems endless. Just remember that even the small things that you do on a daily basis helps you in more ways than you can see. You can’t pour from an empty glass, so replenish yourself whenever you can.
I am proud that I have come to this conclusion. I am proud that I get so much accomplished in a day. Most importantly, I am proud of the person that I have become and everything that I am to the world.
Maybe you are like me, or maybe you have no idea what I’m feeling. Either way, you should feel proud of yourself for the little things that you do for yourself every single day. It can be easy to feel like you have not accomplished anything big or that you are behind on work, but odds are that you have done a lot for yourself and that means that you have done more than enough for the day!
