Over the last few weeks of quarantine, my younger sister has been obsessed with online quizzes that tell you who you are and what you should do with your life. I can remember being thirteen and begging my mom to buy me magazines at stores so I could take the same tests that would decide my fate. So why did I giggle when my sister said that she took one quiz three times to find out her aesthetic and still didn’t know what to call herself?
There are two reasons why I laughed. The first is that we are so much more than just one thing or category. Nobody should restrict themselves to goth, chic or punk. I also think I laughed because my sister is a fun combination of the three, but there are other styles that I would say she is too. We live in a world that puts labels on us and categorizes us as it sees fit. The problem with this is that nobody is simply one thing at a time. When it comes to our identities, we are more than just a student at a college or university. We are daughters and sons, we are brothers and sisters and we are friends. These are just a few examples of the thousands of things that make up our identities, so think about how many items we can add in terms of our likes and passions.
My sister and I both have friends that are gender fluid. I think the best thing I’ve learned from them is that you cannot let society box you into one category or another. Why should you? So it’s easier for them to judge you? I think we should all make our own decisions as to who we want to be and not limit ourselves on a binary. Why choose between “A” and “B,” while also deciding between “C” and “D,” especially when you may be a perfect combination of the four.
The second reason that I giggled after my sister brought up her life-threatening crisis is that she thinks that what she sees herself as now will define her for the rest of her life. And, yes, I thought the same thing when I was thirteen, but I still believe this now. Why is it that my current tomboy style has to follow me for the rest of my life when my sporty-athletic look didn’t make it past sophomore year of high school?
In all honesty, my sister is thirteen and is still attempting to form who she is—or better yet—who she wants to be in the future. I calmed her by addressing the fact that I am twenty and I have no set idea of who I am and what my style is, and that is perfectly fine. I don’t want to be stuck as my twenty-year-old self for the rest of my life. And I am so happy that I’m not forced to keep my style from when I was ten.
I hope that from this article you know that you can fill in the blank with a word or a combination of traits and sayings and that is okay. In the title, I put “insert word(s) here” into parentheses because they can change and it will always be a choice that you have to fill in the way that you want to. Be proud of who you are and don’t choose one part of a binary to fit society’s mold. Also, feel free to change the word(s) as much as you like because you are the only one who decides who you are and who you want to be. Just remember the last four words forever: and I love myself!