Ah, FOMO. Nope, this isn’t a nickname for one of those obscure buildings you pass on your way to Debart, nor a club whose listserv has cluttered your inbox since the Activity fair two years ago. FOMO is much deadlier than just another Notre Dame acronym, and it can be found lurking anywhere from LaFun to DPAC.
That’s right, we’re talking about the dreaded “fear of missing out” — which, when contracted, can make your head spin and palms sweat harder than any sudden Thursday night fever could (by the way, RIP). FOMO hits when you’re at your weakest and most vulnerable. Unofficial studies show that its side effects often crop up after engaging in the following practices: scrolling through your Instagram feed, watching your friend’s fun and flirty Snap stories, and being a normal college student. If any of this may apply to you, have no fear! We’ve compiled a list of remedies to combat even the most persistent strain of FOMO:
Visit St. Liam’s
Your initial response to any cough, sniffly nose, or other physical ailment may be to consult your friendly, on-campus health resources at St. Liam’s University Health Services. After further thought, you’ll probably chuckle a little and quickly dismiss the idea. After all, you’ve learned from popular belief and several Keenan Revue skits that you may even gain a couple more germs than you started with. But wait… what better way to take your mind off your FOMO problem than to contract an actual, real live disease? On second thought, St. Liam’s waiting room, here you come!
Take Up a Hobby
Perhaps for some reason, you’d like to go about curing yourself in a way that’s quote-on-quote “healthier.” Many argue that making time for yourself is not only good for your overall well-being, but it’s one of the most important things you can fit into your daily schedule. You could go on a nice, relaxing and scenic run (a perfect opportunity to fling your phone and all its social media into one of the lakes); release pent-up stress through kickboxing (and stashing away some new moves to use on all those people who didn’t invite you out); or even channel your inner Picasso through arts & crafts (photo of you + popsicle stick = forcing your friends to take Flat You with them anywhere they go).
Make Studying Fun
Sometimes, you just can’t get around it. While it seems as if every last one of your friends is soaking up the sun on the quad or aggressively pregaming a pregame, you find yourself stuck inside working on a last-minute paper or cramming for an exam. There is no possible way to escape the work, so you might as well make the most of it. Gather your fellow classmates who are swimming just as deep in FOMO! Order some pizza! Pump some hot jams! Color code your notecards! Whatever makes it a little more bearable, do it.
Make Studying Look Fun
Alright, alright, let’s be real here. Can studying ever really be considered fun? If your answer is a hard and fast “heck no” blasted through a megaphone to anyone in your relative vicinity, then you can still make your sorrows appear to be better than whatever your less-scholarly friends are up to. Flip the tables on them. Post a heavily-filtered Instagram of your textbooks next to your grinning face, atop a caption full of inside jokes (which you just now made up) that screams, “I’m having more fun than you are.” Recruit a peer to comment something along the lines of, “OMG! Want your life!” and bonus points if they use the term FOMO itself. If your dramatic act is convincing enough, you may even start to believe it yourself.
So here you have it, four of our foolproof prescriptions for fighting any form of FOMO! If you discover that none of these seem to be working for you, perhaps your best bet is simply to wait it out. You may keep more friends that way.
In the meantime, assuage your sorrows by reading about FOMO and the 2,000 other ridiculous slang words that were just recently added to the English dictionary.
Disclaimer: this was not written or supported by anyone close to the medical field. I am a business major. Nor is this article meant to be serious in any way; do NOT attempt these practices to cure your own FOMO.
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