Fall
At long last it’s that magical season of fall. Fall has a sort of strange connation to it, as a time to be overly nostalgic for the times of summer and spring when there was such promise and newness. Fall I feel is a time for reflection, especially as a junior where in many senses I’m approaching the winter of senior year. Senior year is a time of extremes, playfulness and joy, while also dealing with the stresses of applications and the ever burning question, What are you doing next year? As a junior I can sense this time approaching rapidly as each day I find more deadlines approaching, yet there’s a languidness of not yet having to deal with real life because most of the leaves remain on the trees. Indeed this year this semester I have plenty papers, deadlines, and assignments to keep me in the here and now. Fall too is a time to say goodbye.
A Nerd becomes a Fighter
As a scared little freshman, I stumbled into a place of undeniable (forgive the language) bad ass-ness. Boxing is a sport of guts and has a certain swashbuckler persona. Women’s boxing in particular has this reputation for showcasing women that radiate a mix of confidence and beauty that is frankly intimidating. As a self-ascertained nerd, I didn’t quite feel like I belonged in this group of women who were so incredibly hard-working not only academically but in a way where I stood at a disadvantage, physically. To put it frankly, I did not think I belonged to this group of strong confident women. They were cool and I was not, it was as simple as that. I thought they were going to kick me out in the first week, but I decided to stay until they did.
Two years later, and one fight night under my belt and another coming up, I have somehow still managed not to get asked to leave. Indeed though I didn’t even fight in fight night my freshman year I was welcomed back into a family my sophomore year that I had not even realized I had. These same women I now describe as welcoming, loving, and absolutely wonderful were the ones who scared me so much as a little freshman. There’s a support that anyone who’s ever been on a sports team knows about. There’s something about getting up early, surviving grueling workouts, eating healthily when all you want is a cheeseburger and fries, which bonds a team together in a way that is pleasantly surprising.
No I am not nor never will be the burpee queen. No I cannot do a pushup with a clap in-between. No my punches are not perfect. No I don’t have abs or the perfect butt. Essentially I am still very much that nerd that entered as a freshman, at least physically. However, I have been transformed by the (as cheesy as it sounds) support and love of my team. While I might not know everyone’s names, I know their faces and their smiles of encouragement as you do that one last push-up that you thought five push-ups ago you were never going to reach. I have been challenged to fight everyday academically, physically, and emotionally for a level that I never imagined was reachable. I have the confidence to stand up for myself and for what I care about in a way I never even dreamed was possible coming into college. In part because I’ve seen the tremendous effects pure hard work can have, how sometimes all it takes is telling your mind to hold on a second and to push your body to its absolute limits. There’s also the fact that I know what it’s like, literally to be knocked to the ground, to crumble, to feel like I’m never going to get up again; only to brush myself off and finish the fight.
My Story
As much as I have learned from this incredible sport I know too that I have reached my physical limit. There’s something that most people don’t know about me. (Isn’t that always the way?) Not any of my boxing family, not most of my close friends, not my teachers, but I feel the need to share it now in the hopes that the reader can understand how I can feel such an affinity and love for this sport and still walk away. When I was born my right side was completely paralyzed, it’s a paralysis that faded but continued to affect me my whole life. It stemmed from my brain itself and some nerve damage that as a child made my muscles weak. Some of my doctors called it cerebral palsy, but it was so slight that it didn’t affect me every day. Now before you start jumping to conclusions, about the kind of girl that jumps into a ring with a brain condition, I think it’s important to note I didn’t know I had this until I was a senior in high school. Often I forget I even have this, for me it’s kind of like that annoying twitch your eye will do when you’ve been reading too long: mostly annoying but not really noticeable.
The thing is when I’m asked to push my body to its limits for most people that is a limit that can be moved. For me, that’s not really the case. I’m prone to injury on my right side because of how tight my muscles are. No matter how much I stretch they will always be tighter than they should be. This leads to fatigue and therefore a greater risk of not only injury but serious injury. Last year I hurt my hip. At the time it wasn’t anything major just a soreness, I even fought on it, but a whole year later after PT for a sprained hip flexor and healing time it still isn’t the same. I keep re-injuring the area, and I’m going to need my hip and my body for the rest of my life. So I’ve decided not to do it again next year. For most people that would be a no-shit decision, but for me it was rather difficult. I’ll really miss belonging to a team of really great women that each are so inspiring. This sport is not a gentle one, but it is one that brings confidence, passion, and courage to the forefront.
Sharing
I have had such a great experience with boxing that while I myself may not be able to do it, I hope that some women will read my story and be inspired to give boxing a chance. More importantly however are the skills and lessons I have learned from boxing that really stand out to me. I have been so blessed to be able to attend a school that challenges me intellectually as much as boxing challenges me physically. I want to be able to let other women experience this dual challenge. Sure at times it can be exhausting to get out of bed and fight for better in yourself in everything that you do, but life is about the challenge. You learn infinitely more from the times you had to fight than from the times something was handed to you. It’s why I’ve decided to finish out this fight night. You see boxing at Notre Dame is not just boxing. It’s a fundraiser where all of the money goes to support children’s schooling in Uganda through the Holy Cross Missions. The children’s stories I’ve heard while in the program are absolutely amazing. I’ve mentioned this before in another blog. Yet I truly feel that if I accomplish nothing else from three years of hard work, lots of time, lots of sweat, tears, and even a little blood, I hope that I have given just one kid the chance to go to school and really grow from it. I have grown so much in my own time at school that I hope to share that experience with a growing amount of kids throughout the world.
Baraka Bouts
Please think about buying a ticket for the actual fight night from one of your friends who is boxer or even at the door. They are $10 and it goes to help pay tuition for these schoolchildren. Fight night is two nights: the semis on Sunday November 8th at 3pm and the finals on Wednesday November 11th at 6pm in the JACC, and the ticket pays for both of these events. A hundred dollars is enough to send a child to school for an entire year. Come support all of the hard work that these wonderful women have put into this event. Ladies come join us next year! It’s all for the children!