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Picture this: you meet a GREAT guy (or girl). He’s cute, sweet, and you don’t have to fake laugh at his jokes. The classic boy meets girl scenario. Problem? It’s the third week of April. The semester is winding down, finals looming, and you’re both headed separate ways for the summer. Should you Define The Relationship (DTR) or just let it end with the school year?

Among your considerations should be:

Are you really THAT into him?

WAIT! PAUSE. Is it him that you’re into? Or is it the excitement of trying to fit as much in as you can? Are you really interested in the guy or is the intrigue of the romance novel rushed romance plot line getting to your head? If you’re sure it’s him, proceed. If not, kiss him goodbye after finals and don’t look back.

Is it mutual?

Does he sense a spark there too…or are you wearing rose-colored goggles? If he seems content to ride out this flirtationship until his last econ final and you’re already naming your third child, this might be a fling bound to fizzle out before final grades are in. But if he’s mentioning hypotheticals of an “us” in the future, then maybe The Talk is worth your time.

Do you see the possibility of something more serious in the fall?

Are you graduating? Is he? If not, then where could this realistically be headed if you keep it up over the summer? If you’re both moving to Chicago to begin adulthood, give it a whirl. If not, maybe give ending it a second thought. Long distance for a summer is one thing, but starting an LDR based on a couple of weeks may be a bit naive. If you’re both coming back in the fall, do you want something more serious? If not, then there’s no need to discuss staying in touch. You can pick up the casual thing in the fall even if you weren’t anything over the summer. If you do, then having the summer talk would be a good idea so you’re both on the same page.

What are the terms?

Again, starting a serious boyfriend-girlfriend thing based on two weeks could be a little rash. To each their own, but talking about the nature of your relationship (*insert a “what are we?!” joke here*) and how you want to maintain it over the summer would be beneficial. Are you going to see each other at all? If so, how much? Are you going to FaceTime? Are you exclusive? What exactly does that mean? The clearer you are, the less likely that anyone will feel hurt or blindsided.

Congrats on meeting such an awesome person! Life has funny timing sometimes, huh? Being honest about what you want is the best course of action, so that neither of you gets hurt or strung along.


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I'm a junior studying political science and Spanish at the University of Notre Dame. I'm from Grand Rapids, Michigan and enjoy hot yoga, coffee dates and Bath and Body Works candles.
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