We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I’m standing there on a balcony in summer air.
The second our eyes locked at the dining hall on move-in day I knew it was fate. Though you seemed to look past me towards the fro-yo machine.
See the lights, see the party, the ballgowns.
Lol, that is so not what people wear to Domerfest.
See you make your way through the crowd
And say, “Hello.”
Little did I know…
…You really weren’t looking to just say hello.
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles,
Can’t say that’s the most effective way to sexile your sleeping roommate, but you do you.
And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet!”
Daddy Rector
And I was crying on the staircase,
Begging you, “Please don’t go!”
And I said…
Hold up there for a second there, girl. Is this guy really worth fussing this much over? You just met him. You’re better than this. Get over it.
(Author’s Note: Wow. I should really take my own advice sometime.)
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting; all there’s left to do is run.
We’re in the heart of barren, cold, snowy Middle America. Where could you possibly be running to?
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say, ‘Yes.'”
Pro tip: If a random freshman at a dorm party tells you he’s distant royalty, chances are he’s lying.
So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet ’cause we’re dead if they knew,
Hanging out only in secret? Red flag.
So close your eyes. Escape this town for a little while.
Like you’re gonna be able to get out of South Bend in this weather. HAH.
‘Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
Getting called out on Yik Yak=Notre Dame’s scarlet letter.
And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet.”
(Insert clever “shower with my dad” joke here.)
But you were everything to me,
I was begging you, “Please don’t go.”
And I said…
Once again, you’ve already gotten too attached. Check yoself.
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run.
Holy Half training=the perfect date.
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess.
It’s a love story, baby, just say, ‘Yes.'”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa there, getting too attached. Don’t say ‘love’ unless you actually, like, really, really mean it. You two should probably have an extensive, intimate discussion on whether or not you’re both ready to take that step.”
“Romeo, save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it’s real.
If it takes your roommates, your friends, and his friends to give you the hint that he’s not into you, it might not be as real as you think it is.
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess.
If you haven’t cleaned your room since the last time your parents visited, chances are it might take longer than you think.
It’s a love story, baby, just say, ‘Yes.'”
“Idk, maybe we’re better off saying ‘like’ story for now.”
I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
If it’s fourteen hours before his SYR and he still hasn’t asked you to go with him, chances are he won’t at this point.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said…
Nothing more romantic than a casual stroll to Chipotle to talk things out.
“Romeo, save me, I’ve been feeling so alone.
You live on the same floor as, like, fifty loud, college-aged girls. How is that even possible?
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Sometimes it’s okay for girls to make the first move.
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think.”
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said…
“Seriously?! This dude totally led you on, was a complete jerk, fell short and ignored you, and then asked you out out of the blue?! Nuh uh. I’m not letting you do this. He sounds like such a jerk. He definitely doesn’t like you for you, he definitely just wants a girlfriend to show off to his friends and just to have a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend. Or maybe you’re the side piece! Mmm I don’t know, I don’t like the sound of this, just don’t do it.”
“Marry me, Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress.
It’s a love story, baby, just say, ‘Yes.'”
“…Actually, girl, you do what you think is right for you. #followyourheart. Ily either way. But if he’s not 100% willing to make it Facebook official right from the get-go, it could be another red flag. Just saying.”
‘Cause we were both young when I first saw you…
“Like, OMG what will we tell our kids?!”
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