I like to think of Notre Dame’s campus as a life-sized snow globe. Landscaped and beautiful, it is an intellectual and cultural oasis in Northern Indiana, separated from the rest of the world by a thick plastic bubble. Spending so much time inside our bubble, it is easy to forget that the world is not like our socially conservative microcosm.
We go to a school with fairly rigid codes of conduct for each gender. Women living on campus rarely pay for their own alcohol, or host social gatherings. Male dorms streak through libraries, while the same sort of activity would never be attempted by a female dorm. The gender spheres apply for more than just our current social life. It would not be strange to tell someone that you intend to be a homemaker after college. And there is a certain code of chivalry that permeates: men seem to go out of their way to open doors for women on campus.
Outside our little bubble, dawns an age of gender equality. By the end of the first week of summer vacation, I’d had enough doors rudely slam in my face after men walked through them to remember what the real world was like. My friends are shocked by how little money I spend on weekends at school, and the explanation that I have a lot of guy friends is insufficient.
I’m not simply bemoaning the loss of chivalry, something much larger seems to be happening. Last week, I entered a cafe with a sign hung outside that read “Gender Neutral Bathrooms.” The concept of a single stall bathroom for both men and women is not so radical. The fact that the cafe felt it needed to be advertised outside struck me as odd. I recently stumbled upon a male rights activism website. There a number of websites dedicated to a growing movement for gender equality. The catch: this time men are fighting for their rights in a female dominated world.
I can understand what men are complaining about. They do get represented as the less intelligent gender by advertisements. Women have a choice whether they want to have a career, stay home with their children, or do both. While some couples are progressive, men mostly do not have the option of staying home with families. Men are still limited from careers for reasons of social taboo like nursing, education, and childcare.
The more I started to think about what gender equality, and a safety proofed gender neutral world would mean, the more my naïve, little twenty-something self became sad. Right now, women and men do the same job, and the man will be paid more. The salary disparity is a remnant of the days when women did not need to support families so there was no need for them to be paid as much as men. But that salary disparity is closing with each decade. Someday soon women will earn the same as men for the same job. When that day comes, will we suddenly be forced to go “Dutch” paying for dates? Is it sexist not to? If men and women are capable of earning the same amount will the nature of our different gender attraction shift? If we can earn just as much as men there is less need for our mates to be smart and capable of supporting us. If we think we can make enough to support ourselves and our family will we be searching for primarily handsome men? Will women become more superficial? Will we start hanging around in bars, leering at any guy wearing tight clothing?
Ultimately, gender equality really should not be feared. We all want equal pay, equal job opportunities, and equal respect. But is it necessary to gender neutralize everything? Can we live in an equal world and still have separate bathrooms? Can it still be acceptable for men to pay for dinner, if women cook them dinner? Can we all just hold doors for each other?