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The 9 Most Important Inanimate Objects of the 2014 Oscars

1.  John Travolta’s idiocy

 

 

2.  Pharrell’s tux shorts. Because you thought I was gonna say Pharrell’s hat, didn’t you?

 

 

3. The pizza heard round the world

 

 

4. Jared Leto’s beautiful, womanly hair

 

 

5. Leo DiCaprio’s empty, Oscar-less hands

 

 

6. The shade thrown by Liza Minelli in this selfie

 

 

7. The McConaughey/DiCaprio hug.

 

 

8. Kerry Washington’s pregnancy.

 

 

9. Gravity. And Gravity.

 

 

 

 

Photos 1, 2, 3, 4

Sarah is a senior at the University of Notre Dame pursuing majors in English and American Studies. After graduation, she hopes to somehow finagle her way into a career in journalism. She enjoys whistling and Stanley Tucci and hates all forms of bees.
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