Sochi 2014 sounds pretty cool. A far away place (for us, Americans), a beautiful place, and a snowy place. However, a better option would obviously be South Bend. Beautiful corn fields to create race boundaries, gorgeous geese to annoy the visitors, and the happiest, most welcoming people around. It would be a change of pace and probably raise some eyebrows, but I say give it a chance!
Five reasons why South Bend, Indiana would have been the absolute best place to host the 2014 winter Olympics are as follows:
1. The obvious: We have the means…snow. Does it ever stop snowing in South Bend? Nope. Will the snow ever melt? Debatable. Does it sparkle and look like a fairytale land? Yes. Is it the perfect winter wonderland? Yes. So, welcome Olympic athletes! I can guarantee the snow is packed and perfect flurries will keep coming, so no need to worry about any melting issues!
2. There is not a civil war going on one border over. Sure, Michiana may sound like a pathetic attempt at staying friendly with one of our many neighboring states, but at least we aren’t trying to kill one another! 250 miles away from Sochi is an Islamic republic attempting to establish itself under the cloud of Chechen rebels, who, in turn, are threatening violence. OHHHkay. I’m sorry….Checen rebels?! Are you kidding me?! Dangerous situations should not be a worry for all of these athletes trying to pursue their dreams. South Bend, IN never sounded more safe.Â
(Sooo yeah this crazy guy ran a red light on the corner of Grape road?) The things we deal with….
3. We could use the publicity. Can’t you see it now? “South Bend: Home of the 2014 Winter Olympics.” Sure we have Notre Dame and The South Bend Chocolate Factory, but we could absolutely use a major event to bring in some people and moola. The sign that reads, “South Bend: A 21st century city” would be more realistic if we had the Olympics, of course. Imagine all the people who would get to experience the thriving metropolis that is South Bend, Indiana! Sparkling snow and smiling people. I see great things for the future, great things.Â
4. We actually DO have the amenities. Compton…that hill that goes down from Bond Hall to the grotto…the other hill that runs from behind the dome to straight into the lake? Yeah. We have the PERFECT bobsled team course. (Also, Jamaica, we would make sure you flew a reliable American airline so your equipment would NOT get lost in travel. Ridiculous.)
5. South Bend doesn’t shower-spy. Yep. You read that correctly…Sochi has such major water problems as well as shower-spying. Oh that sounds totally fine. The government can watch you as you sip on some yellow-tinted water and hang out in ramshackle rooms that are lacking necessities such as lightbulbs, tables, and even doorknobs. Saint Mary’s Riedinger House may be a little haunted-looking, but we can guarantee a safe, non-imposterous stay. South Bend sounds a whole lot better doesn’t it?
With such a desirable location, an ever-changing weather pattern that keeps things interesting, and roughly 13,000 college students who would be dying to have something other than a dorm party to go to on Friday nights, would love for the Olympics to be in the good ole’ Bend. I think we could make it happen.Â
South Bend 2018?
Yikes.
Follow HCND on Twitter and like us on Facebook!
Photos provided by the author.
Hannah Drinkall is a Saint Mary’s College Contributor to Her Campus Notre Dame.