1. You’ve experienced a move-in day so hot, you thought you’d never feel cold again
2. You’ve experienced a South Bend winter and realized that you were very, very wrong.
3. You have been coaxed into Mass on a weekday by the promise of milkshakes or nachos at the end of it.
4. Speaking of Mass, you’ve definitely heard both homilies and intentions centered on football.
5. And you’ve told friends and family a thousand times about the story of the big-name athlete who
lived in your dorm stole the last scoop of 4-cheese pasta from you in the dining hall that one time.
6. You can count on one hand the number of your friends who didn’t study abroad.
7. You know that Stonehenge is in Indiana, not England.
8. Squirrels are, to you, always the size of beagles and always fonder of pizza and Natty Lite than of acorns.
9. You can provide a definition for the word “parietals.” Seriously. Has anyone outside of Notre Dame ever even heard this word? I think we made it up.
10. You’ve broken off a relationship before it began thanks to your potential mate’s dining hall preference. #SDHforever
11. Three or more of the girls in your inner circle are named Mary-something, and you know no fewer than 173 Katherines.
12. You or someone you know has had a small panic attack over the possibility of being ring-less by spring.
13. You’ve sung along to “Go Cubs Go” at a bar despite having absolutely no interest in or sentiment for the Chicago Cubs, because The Backer.
14. You’ve stopped going to a bar (*cough* Fever *cough*) because it’s overrun with underclassmen. They are up to THREE YEARS apart from you in age, and that is simply unacceptable.
15. You’ve gone to class/the gym/let’s be honest probably Finni’s with ashes on your forehead because religious holidays do not negate dollar beer nights. And you’d forgotten until just now that Ash Wednesday is, in fact, next week. You’re welcome.
16. You revere Fr. Ted Hesburgh as a living saint, and you came very close to passing out from excitement when you met him that one time. Here you see underling President Jimmy Carter deferring to his true boss.
17. You chuckle at Lou Holtz’s predictions for ND football success, but agree with him every time anyway.
18. Your heart will forever Love Thee, Notre Dame.