The story starts when it is hot and it is summer and…you’re pretending that it can last forever…but you suddenly realize that move-in is T-minus 5 days away, and so begins the first stage of the Sad Beautiful Tragic packing process.
1. Procrastintion
You’re in your room, it’s a typical Tuesday night.
You’re listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like
…and all you need to pack for the upcoming school year is looming on the other side of the (closet) door. So you pause your Netflix episode on a picture of Derek Sheppard (and his gorgeous locks) and shake off that impending feeling of doom.
2. Bargaining
But then your mom comes in asking if you’ve even started thinking about packing.
You look around the room, innocently overlook the truth, and offer her a compromise: “For every episode I watch on Netflix, I’ll pack one item of clothing.”
3. Acceptance
Two days, seven Grey’s Anatomy episodes, and one packed item later, you wake up to pictures of your dorm room from your roommate who moved in early. When you’re, one day, telling the story of this packing ordeal to your friends at school, you’ll say this will forever & always be the moment you knew that you actually had to get to work.
4. Panic
So you relcutantly walk across the room, open the closet door, and realize the sheer immensity of the task at hand.
5. Motivation
With a surge of determined energy you empty out the entire contents of your dresser and closet. You turn around and inspect the mess of t-shirts, dresses, and sweatpants that litter your bed and floor. Oh they’ve surrounded you. It’s a showdown (showdown), and nobody comes to save you now. You count to ten, take it in, then dive in head-first, fearless.
6. Rationalization
Hour 3 of packing: You come across a shirt you haven’t worn in 2 years but decide to throw it in the suitcase anyway because “It would be perfect if I ever went to an *insert obscure theme here* party and wore that one pair of shoes with that red lip classic thing that he likes and that one skirt…”
7. Anger
…speaking of skirts, you realize your sister took that tight little skirt that never goes out of style, without your permission. So you march into her room, and talking turns to screams.
After all the screaming, crying, and perfect storms, the tables turn and you get your skirt back…
…and you even swipe her favorite nail polish on your way out, when she isn’t looking.
8. Frustration
Now it’s time for the part you remember All Too Well from last year: zipping the suitcase. It includes a lot of this.
And this.
And maybe even some of this.
9. Perseverance
But with the help of your mom, dad, sister, dog, and local stray cat, you somehow manage to close the suitcase. By morning, gone is any trace of it, that is, of the mess you made, and your room is finally Clean.
10. Triumph
Before you know it, it’s the morning of move-in and you’ve somehow loaded all your stuff into that stupid, old pick-up truck your dad never lets you drive but, for some reason, insists on dropping you off in.
It’s officially time for you take a deep breath, girl, and admire just how big of a Superstar you are.
Happy packing,
HCNDXO
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