When I think of pants, I often think about the humiliating fact that most pants are too long for my legs. I mean, come on. I’m not that short (at 5’3” I refer to myself as an average-sized petite Asian) and I’m pretty sure that my legs aren’t horrendously disproportionate to my body (does it mean anything that I look super leggy in heels?).
I should be used to shopping for pants to fit my length by now, but there is still that pang of humiliation every time I find a pair of size 24 ‘Short’ jeans and find that even the ‘short’ ones are just a little bit too long for me. (It really doesn’t help when my leggy 5’8” redhead friend yells out from another changing room that her ‘Longs’ are a little bit too short for her. Boo.)
Despite such moments of what to me feels like ultimate shame and rejection cast down upon me by the world of pants, there are very rare occasions when the pants actually do fit. These are the moments when I have to check myself out in the changing room mirror multiple times. I’ll bend my knees and do a few squats just to make sure I haven’t performed some kind of trick to make the pants fit better. I’ll spin around a few times, making sure to see myself from every angle. Then, the ultimate test – I’ll step into the pair of heels (which I wore that day specifically for my pants-shopping needs) and see if I trip over the excess length on the bottom. On those rare, lucky days, there’s nothing to trip on and I joyously thank the Lord of Pants for letting me have this one. Then I look at the pile of failed attempts on the changing room floor and engage in a moment of silence for those that would not be.
Finding a pair of pants that really fits you is really an amazing experience. You feel confident. You feel sexy. You feel like these pants were made for you, and you find that you don’t want to wear anything else, because no other pair of pants can compare to the confidence you gain from that one.
The phrase ‘wearing the pants’ is often associated with the idea of who holds the power in a relationship or a group, but to me ‘wearing the pants’ has a lot to do with being happy and confident in who you are and how you feel—no more, no less. To me, it also has nothing to do with gender roles. Wearing the pants isn’t a feminist statement about women’s ability to break gender stereotypes and step into a pair of trousers. It has to do with the simple fact that, unlike skirts or dresses, it’s actually really hard to find a pair of pants that fits you perfectly, and when you do, you feel great.
Back to the celebratory scene in the changing room… There’s a song that starts playing in my head every time I find a wonderful pair of perfectly-fitted pants. That song is none other than: K.C. & The Sunshine Band’s “Get Down Tonight.” No other song makes me happier to sing (off-tune, of course) at those very rare moments when I finally find a pair of pants that makes me feel like I can conquer the world. Is it superficial and vain? Maybe. But it feels oh-so-good.
So, ladies, rejoice in the pants that make you feel good! Do a little dance. Make a little love (if you want to, that is. And play safe, of course).
Get down tonight.