Men are mysterious creatures. It can be difficult to know what they’re looking for, when half of the time they don’t even know themselves. But standing out in a sea of dating ambiguity isn’t as hard as it sounds. Catch your lucky guy’s eye with these unique flirting tips:
Shut him down. Many women think the key to a guy’s heart is to be their perfect woman— have the same interests, enjoy the same music, watch the same movies, etc. While it’s important to make a connection with your man, a little sass can be incredibly sexy. Men are competitive by nature, so if you can dish it as well as you can take it, you’ll quickly earn respect in the bro world. Next time you’re hanging out with your crush and his friends, take a stab at something silly like his lacking sense of fashion. His friends will find you funny, while he’ll find the need to step up his day-to-day dress in order to impress you.
“It is important for women to be a challenge,” said Ice, the lead instructor at Chicago Seduction, a Chicago dating coach service. “She should show genuine interest, but not be afraid to disagree with the guy from time to time.”
Make the first move. We’re living in the 21st century, ladies, and we shouldn’t be afraid to take advantage of it. Believe it or not, guys are just as nervous when it comes to girls as we are with them. Instead of waiting for him to conjure up the confidence and ask you to hang out, be bold and beat him to the punch. Keep it simple and say something like, “Hey, I’ve been dying to see that new horror movie but no one’s brave enough to go with me. Can you handle it?” The added challenge will make it impossible for him to say no, and he’ll find your confidence ultra hot.
Make spontaneous plans. All right, so maybe asking him out is still a little too daunting for you. Instead, find an easier way to get one-on-one time without the added pressure of a date. Text him something like, “Craving fries. BK run?” The casualness of your spur-of-the-moment plans will allow you both to feel relaxed and at ease with one another, a perfect way to get a little more personal outside of a group setting.
Ice gives advice for getting closer during those one-on-one moments: “You should ask the man open-ended questions about himself, and only show approval when he at least invests the energy into formulating a quality response. This will give off the impression that the man is investing himself into you. He will subconsciously feel as if he is slowly earning you.”
Get closer (literally). Everyone knows the outdated “touch his arm” flirting tricks—even men, as clueless as they are. Guys are very responsive to touch and will instantly pick up on it if you’re all over them, which may come off as too accessible. Instead, get closer in a more subtle way. College parties can be noisy and hectic, making them the perfect excuse to lean in for conversation. While your friends are off dancing and having fun, lean in to your crush’s ear and strike up a chat. Being in such close proximity will make your conversation more intimate, and making a connection amongst the chaos will be something he won’t forget the next morning.
Become one with your bro side. Guys like it when you make an effort to relate to them. While they probably aren’t looking for “just another bro,” they will notice if you make a point to address their interests.
“At parties, I won’t use a chaser,” said freshman Amy Smith*. “Guys usually find this impressive, and will make a comment about it.”
Guys are often surprised when women can handle themselves like a man, so catch him off guard with your bro-like interests. If you’re an avid sports fan, bring up last night’s game in conversation. He’ll be happy to have found common ground with you, and intrigued by your “unconventional” interests.
*This name has been changed.