According to informationisbeautiful.net, there are peak break-up times throughout the year in which couples all over decide to end a long-term relationship. According to research on social media, the most popular time for this split is among us, right in the middle of Thanksgiving break! This time has been universally recognized as ‘The Turkey Dump’ and is typically used in regards to college students in long-distance relationships. Thanksgiving is the first time we will see our significant others since having gone to college, and many students go home this break with an idea of whether or not they want to stay in their relationship. This term especially applies to the freshman who are embarking on a completely different journey of figuring out who they are on their own in college. This is such an exciting and fun time, but it can also be incredibly stressful and overwhelming. So why is this time so popular to do the Turkey Dump? It has been four months of trying to balance school work, a social life, extracurricular activities, and on top it all, a long-distance relationship. This gets exhausting and often causes so much stress on individuals and tension in a relationship, forcing couples to question whether being in a long-distance relationship is the best idea. As this graph so eloquently states, breaking up during the holidays would be too cruel, so Thanksgiving seems like the perfect time to have that tough conversation.
Long-distance relationships are incredibly difficult for so many different reasons. College bombards people with stimuli, and with so much to deal with right in front of you, such as classes, it becomes increasingly harder to commit to anything that is so far away. A member of the Class of 2017 reflects that, “the hardest part is only being able to communicate through electronic means. A lot of things really get lost in communication, and it’s easy to misinterpret what the other person means. There aren’t very many physical cues that tell you what they actual mean or are thinking.” In addition to the distance, people in college grow so much as individuals, and “college is a big time of change for people. It is a time to grow, try new things, meet new people, learn what you like, and figure out who you want to be. It is hard to be in a relationship with someone who is not present for all of these changes. Keeping up with them and staying on the same page becomes a challenge”, says another member of the Class of 2017.
For those of you reading this that are so happy with their significant others, remember this does not apply to every couple; some long-distance relationships really do succeed and are beneficial and beautifully fulfilling. Everyone and every couple is different, so some are more able than others to balance and sacrifice for a relationship.
However, to the women reading this that are considering doing the Turkey Dump: it is okay to be feeling this way! College is such a different experience from high school, and this last quarter has probably changed your life drastically. We change and grow as people, and unfortunately, this sometimes means that we grow in the opposite direction of some of the people we were once the closest to. This is no one’s fault, and you are definitely not the only one. If you are thinking about ending it, but aren’t completely sure, here are some things to consider:
1. Is the stress of your relationship hindering your happiness?
2. Are you beginning to resent your significant other for the amount of time you have to put into the relationship?
3. Do you feel as though you are not experiencing new things in college because you are always skyping or talking on the phone with your significant other?
4. Do you feel like you are missing out on Northwestern and want to become more present in life on campus?
5. Do you feel limited by having a significant other?
6. Do you find yourself trying to do anything but talk to your significant other?
7. Do you feel like your significant other is experiencing any of these problems as well?
Some of these issues definitely have solutions, and this is something to weigh in your decision. If you believe you can fix your relationship by coming up with a better strategy of balancing all of your activities and relationship, then all the power to you! Definitely do not give up on your relationship if you think there is a solution to becoming happier and less stressed out. However, the only thing I would suggest is to not stay with your significant other for sole for comfort and security. Yes, these are very important aspects of a relationship, but make sure these are not the only reasons you are staying with this person. College is the time to get out of your comfort zone and experience new things; you have experienced so much change, and that can be incredibly scary, but do not let avoiding this change be the only reason you want to stay in a relationship.
We hear you, Lauren Conrad.
With a significant other so far away, the relationship may not be the best for you, and it is okay to recognize that. If you are the dumper: do not be angry with yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, and needing an opportunity to grow and experience college on your own. To the dumpee: I hope you can see a silver lining in this. Maybe the reasons your significant other needs to end it can benefit you as well. Either way, it is lucky that we will all be surrounded by an absurd amount of turkey and cranberry sauce; eat up and remember that we have so much to be thankful for, including the experiences that have gotten you to the Turkey Dump. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving!